Rocking The Cradle

Giving birth is painful (thank you Eve!). However, there is something magical about the arrival of a new-born baby. When I had my babies, each delivery left me with a myriad of positive emotions, emotions that I can only describe as torrential waves of a pure and intense kind of love which flooded my entire heart and my whole being. Instinctively, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I loved these little bundles-of-joy so much that I would be willing to do whatever it took to for me to nurture them into their full potential. These emotions, so strong and so tangible often left me thinking of my own mother and realising that I, too, at one point, was a newborn baby in the hands of my mother. For most women, giving birth will often kindle or rekindle an appreciation of their mums through new eyes. In fact, everyone you see, from the wealthiest to the poorest, from the biggest to the tiniest started out in this world as a baby.

Babies give their love unconditionally. Their love is pure, their innocence is untainted and they carry a freshness and a purity. Babies do not know or care if you are wealthy or poor. They have no perception of poverty or wealth and therefore respond from a position of clarity, innocence and love. They do not worry about how they look or how the grown-ups around them look. They love and just want to be loved. It’s no wonder that when people come into the presence of newborns they ‘ooooo’ and ‘aaaaaa’ at this new creation. But alas, they do not stay as babies. They grow and it takes a lot of wisdom, patience and grace to raise these little babies and nurture the gifts within them so they can flourish into responsible and successful God fearing adults.

From as far back as I can remember I always adored babies and would find myself pondering on the mysteriousness of how these little adorable bundles came into being. In fact the earliest memory I have is of my little brother's birth. I was only three years old when mum and dad brought him home and I remember being so smitten by his tiny little fingers and everything about him. That was me back then and I should say I still have not outgrown my love for babies and children. I have my own children now and I’m thankful for the wealth and abundance of information and resources available to us to aide us in our parenting.

As our society continues to evolve and grow, more and more options for self development and progression have become available to most people. As the choices broaden, so too do the debates and arguments as to whether or not each person is doing the right thing or making the right choice. Mothering is no exception and more often than not I meet women who are burdened with fear, guilt and worry because they do not know whether they are making the right decision in as far as raising their children is concerned. Is there a ‘one size fits all’ method of being a ‘good’ mother? How do we fulfil and honour that initial desire that we had when we held our babies for the first time, that desire to do our best to raise happy and responsible kids?
In my journey the ‘one size fits all’ method that I do know about is Scripture. You see, all Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting, training and protecting as well as equipping us and our children for every good work in this fascinating journey of life and all that comes with it. . As mothers (and fathers), we have the great honour and privilege of providing input, management and direction into this new being’s brand new start! When we get a revelation of what an opportunity it is to share in these divine moments and opportunities and when we realise the enormity of the responsibility we carry, parenting becomes such an honour, a joy and a privilege.

In recent times, I have known many a mother (and father) who either carries or is driven by the “guilt” of not being able to spend “enough” time with their children. Focusing a little on the mothers for now, the decision to either be a working mum or to “live off one salary” and be a stay-at-home mum features highly in the lives of many mothers as it is sometimes almost viewed as a choice between your children and your vocation. There is no shortage of debates and research on this matter but the question still remains - Is there an umbrella or universal formula that should work for all mothers? I do not think there could ever be one magical universal formula or approach just as there cannot be a universal personality for all mankind.

Some women are wired naturally as “traditional” nurturers who find purpose and fulfilment in having and nurturing children – the future of mankind. They find joy and happiness in this role and will often feel enhanced by executing the role to the very best of their God-given ability. Nowadays, the traditional nurturing mothers are not necessarily correctly portrayed and at times are demeaned as being frumpy-looking, unkempt, ignorant, uneducated and severely overweight women with old over-starched Mother’s Day aprons secured and locked around their waists. In my travels, I have had the great pleasure of meeting numerous very intelligent, highly educated and professionally qualified, compassionate, socially aware women who have made the decision to be in this category and to follow this path more because it is their passion rather than because it is the natural or “expected” thing for them to do.

On the other hand, there are those mothers who deeply love their children but who are also very driven and enhanced by activities outside the mothering and home arena. In some cases, these women will feel claustrophobic, emotionally strained and suffocated if not given the space and opportunities to fulfil their hearts’ desire: which is to see the talent and abilities that they carry outside of the home fulfilled. Then of course there are those women who are able to combine both worlds with relative ease and finesse…maybe and just maybe… sometimes with a tinge of guilt but generally they feel fulfilled in what they do and how they live..

And so we are back again to the beginning: is there a ‘right way’ of being a mother when it comes to lifestyle choices? The ‘right way’ for each mother should be determined by what feels right for her and her family in whatever season of their lives that they find themselves. This one thing I do know though – that without this one specific universal ingredient, no method will succeed…ever – and that is the ingredient of love. As I shared before, whatever your faith, pray for your little ones, love them and whether you are a stay-at-home mum, businesswoman, career woman with a family to raise or whatever else you may be involved in, remember that God will furnish you thoroughly to fulfil all the good works you have been commissioned to do…only ask. Do the very best that you can, with what you have and without comparing yourself with anyone else. Rather, encourage and cheer others on as we all continue on this great journey together.

Till next time…