Its a few days to Christmas and unlike all the other past years my house is still not looking dressed for the festive season at all. I'll put it down to having been so occupied with the events of the last three months.....moving continents, two funerals, house hunting plus furnishing the house, homeschooling, getting acquainted with the new area,birthdays.....I'm sure the picture is clearly painted so I can stop there. Today it came as a bit of a 'surprise' that we are this close to Christmas.
The question that I've been toying with today though, is whether or not to get shiny tinsel, lights , a tree and all the works (since I threw all the other ones out before we left Australia)? My kids are used to having the decorations and its become a tradition.Thankfully traditions can be broken and replaced because somehow,this year I cant help but wonder what the real connection between Jesus' birthday, trees and tinsel is? Blame it on the tiredness but I've been struggling to find the link that brings them together.In fact I think I might just have the 'Santa Claus' discussion with my kids and dispel the myth altogether(gasp!). After all, if we are celebrating Jesus' birthday ,'I love Jesus' t-shirts should be on high demand. At the moment I see a lot of 'I love Santa' on a lot of items. It seems Santa has stolen the show. Maybe that's why he does that 'ho ho ho' laugh. If Jesus made an appearance at a Christmas event alongside Santa, I wonder if the people would even recognize Him or would they just go wild for Santa at 'Jesus' own birthday'?
I do enjoy the festivities that surround this time of the year, the spirit of giving and add on to that the massive sales too just after the celebrations but is it all still just about Jesus or is it simply a holiday season of merriment and joy as people connect, recharge and party in preparation for the new year ahead?
For business owners if the year has been a slow one, Christmas time gives you one more chance to 'make it' before the year is up. In fact its such a lucrative time for businesses that some of them literally start advertising for the next year's Christmas presents just as you are still picking out the turkey (or king prawn if you are in Australia) remains from your teeth. What is Christmas and what does it mean to you? At this time of the year its almost inevitable that there'll always be crowds as people scurry around to do their last minute shopping. Interestingly, I have seen people carrying loads of festive goodies but looking so exhausted,stressed and not so 'festive' themselves!
Is this what Christmas is all about? Stress from the hustle and bustle of shopping (for necessary and oh so not necessary stuff),or the 'BIG SALE' adverts that are unavoidable every day of the holiday season.....junk mail,tv, on radio you name it. OR is it a time of reconnecting and enjoying family time as we celebrate the birth of our Savior?
Some children are literally drowned in presents (they have toys coming right up to their ears!) while the parents on the other hand drown themselves in debt which they'll spend the following year trying to clear and stressing over the debt .What are we teaching our children? Do they really need that many 'things' to keep them entertained and make them feel loved and special? Theres nothing wrong with buying gifts for our kids of course but it becomes worrying when that is the main expression of our love for them. What are they learning from these' love expressions'? I remember when I was a child ,things for us were a lot different . We'd all get gifts at Christmas (five of us) but one or two gifts each was enough and yet i never doubted my parents' love for me. We teach our kids what 'enough' is. Sometimes the more kids have , the less grateful they become because such is the nature of materialism.
Gifts should not substitute real affection and family time. Kids dont need the whole toy shop in their home to show them they are appreciated.Hugs, heartfelt laughter and shared kisses create more lasting impressions. Its now so easy to get sucked into being too materialistic.Tuck those credit cards away, go for walks together, build a snowman,go see the local attractions,play games, read stories,tell jokes, watch a feel good movie, cuddle,eat together and create priceless memories that dont put an enormous dent in your finances and leave you struggling to stay afloat financially in the coming year.
What Im saying in a nutshell is, take time to plant, enjoy and smell the REAL roses without having to spend on artificial roses that have no scent and are not as bright.If it is Christ you are celebrating(with or without the tree and decorations), then do spend time with Him and allow His voice to be heard in your homes.
Buy clothes that you NEED, food that you NEED and will eat, cut your cloth according to the measure you have and enjoy the true celebration of Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus and merry Christmas to you all.
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Monday, 12 December 2011
Anti-Ageing Silliness
This morning I happened to notice little lines on the sides of my eyes, then it struck me....I now have crows feet! I've heard of these 'facial feet' so often but until today, I'd never really paid attention to them. Surprisingly there are hundreds of products on the market that specifically target this 'problem'.Is it really a problem though,or have we been taught to see it that way? When I saw these lines that are more affectionately called laugh lines I actually felt thrilled. I'm not exactly sure why, but I do know that they did stir up some excitement within me.
Its interesting to note how there are literally hundreds if not thousands of skincare formulas that are 'anti-ageing' and carry the promise of preserving or prolonging the youthful glow. These sell like hot cakes as ladies (and now some men too) strive to look ten or more years younger.They come with the promise of reducing fine lines, attacking wrinkles,restoring youthfulness and the list goes on. To be honest, as I looked at these wonderful natural lines in the corners of my eyes ,I could not help but wonder at the silliness of this anti-ageing phenomena.Have you ever wondered what it would look like if young kids all of a sudden came up with 'anti-puberty' formulas just so they could hold on to their childhood a tad bit longer? Wouldnt it be utterly comical to see little boys and girls trying so hard to get back to being babies again. Oddly enough you have teenagers wanting to look like adults so much while the adults on the other hand are fighting to stay youthful. What chaos!
What is wrong with age, growing, maturing, getting the lines in the different places at their appointed time for each individual? When I was a young girl I remember being surrounded by wonderful women from different generations. Somehow being exposed to the differnt generations and seeing most of them embracing the respective seasons they were in made me feel secure.Seeing older women who were happy and confident even with a few lines here and there was a joy to behold. Imagine being a teenager and going through a crisis but looking around and seeing that the older people who presumably would have the capacity to help and direct you are in a crisis of their own.... hopelessly preoccupied with fighting age and trying to get back their youthful glow?
Good skin care is important as part of one's daily routine. However,as part of nature's wonderful hand, eventually lines will appear and for some its sooner than for others. When you worry about those lines appearing and that hair greying you actually accelerate the process and will probably need more and more of those creams! Worry is a definite catalyst for ageing skin and like anything else, it produces after its own kind...worry gives birth to more worry and more worry means more wrinkles...its a cycle that will feed and sustain itself!
However when you choose to consciously be happy and look at the accumulation of years as something to celebrate then you will embrace the years and 'age' gracefully. Some of the genuinely happy elderly people that I've met do have the wrinkles but they are still full of life and real joy while on the other hand I've seen some 'heavily botoxed' people who have the smoothest wrinkle free faces but look so lifeless because they have no 'expression' on their faces anymore.
Age is not an enemy and facial lines are not hideous. There really is some silliness to fighting age. Its good to 'feel' and experience your real age. Dont be afraid of it. I'm pro-age, and I think I actually like and will keep my crows feet....I'm excited! Here's to being comfortable with the age you are so the younger ones can look forward to getting there too rather than fill them with unnecessary fear and dread because of this uncalled for silliness.
Its interesting to note how there are literally hundreds if not thousands of skincare formulas that are 'anti-ageing' and carry the promise of preserving or prolonging the youthful glow. These sell like hot cakes as ladies (and now some men too) strive to look ten or more years younger.They come with the promise of reducing fine lines, attacking wrinkles,restoring youthfulness and the list goes on. To be honest, as I looked at these wonderful natural lines in the corners of my eyes ,I could not help but wonder at the silliness of this anti-ageing phenomena.Have you ever wondered what it would look like if young kids all of a sudden came up with 'anti-puberty' formulas just so they could hold on to their childhood a tad bit longer? Wouldnt it be utterly comical to see little boys and girls trying so hard to get back to being babies again. Oddly enough you have teenagers wanting to look like adults so much while the adults on the other hand are fighting to stay youthful. What chaos!
What is wrong with age, growing, maturing, getting the lines in the different places at their appointed time for each individual? When I was a young girl I remember being surrounded by wonderful women from different generations. Somehow being exposed to the differnt generations and seeing most of them embracing the respective seasons they were in made me feel secure.Seeing older women who were happy and confident even with a few lines here and there was a joy to behold. Imagine being a teenager and going through a crisis but looking around and seeing that the older people who presumably would have the capacity to help and direct you are in a crisis of their own.... hopelessly preoccupied with fighting age and trying to get back their youthful glow?
Good skin care is important as part of one's daily routine. However,as part of nature's wonderful hand, eventually lines will appear and for some its sooner than for others. When you worry about those lines appearing and that hair greying you actually accelerate the process and will probably need more and more of those creams! Worry is a definite catalyst for ageing skin and like anything else, it produces after its own kind...worry gives birth to more worry and more worry means more wrinkles...its a cycle that will feed and sustain itself!
However when you choose to consciously be happy and look at the accumulation of years as something to celebrate then you will embrace the years and 'age' gracefully. Some of the genuinely happy elderly people that I've met do have the wrinkles but they are still full of life and real joy while on the other hand I've seen some 'heavily botoxed' people who have the smoothest wrinkle free faces but look so lifeless because they have no 'expression' on their faces anymore.
Age is not an enemy and facial lines are not hideous. There really is some silliness to fighting age. Its good to 'feel' and experience your real age. Dont be afraid of it. I'm pro-age, and I think I actually like and will keep my crows feet....I'm excited! Here's to being comfortable with the age you are so the younger ones can look forward to getting there too rather than fill them with unnecessary fear and dread because of this uncalled for silliness.
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
'Only Juices And Berries'
Its been several years now since I chopped off my chemically processed hair and decided to go natural. To be honest, short natural afro hair is very manageable but once you decide to grow it out....its a whole different story! It takes a lot of work to maintain it especially when you discover that the salons in the country you live do not 'do that type of hair'.In spite of this, I have never been tempted to go back to the 'creamy crack' and just relax my hair. Relaxing afro hair is a way of permanently straightening the hair chemically.
Natural afro hair comes in many different textures just as there are many different skin tones even within the same racial groups.It ranges from the very tightly kinked thick curls to the very 'cottony soft' textured waves. Why did I let go of the relaxers? Well, for starters, the mere fact that I was constantly exposing myself to harsh chemicals and frying my hair every so often just for the straight look was a good enough reason. Besides if I needed it straightened I could always use a hot iron. Remember the 'stretching combs' back in the 80's? For the sake of my younger readers ,these were iron combs which were usually heated on a stove plate and used to straighten vaseline coated afro hair. This was usually done in sections (just like you would do with a hot iron). You could literally smell your hair being toasted or rather fried to straightness in all that petroleum. The last thing you would want after that was the rain or any sort moisture as this would take your straightened afro straight back to its natural kinky state.
The risk of scalp irritations or even burns was another push factor and I also didnt like the greasiness from regularly oiling my hair. Thankfully it wasnt as bad as the oiliness of the Jheri curl which was again very popular in the 80's and looked glossy and very wavy since it had to be lardered with greasy curl activator to keep it from drying out. In case you are wondering, no, I never had the jheri curl but I know a bit about how the hair was permed using perm lotion which had a really strong smell since my mum at one point owned a salon. The stuff had a strong pungent smell and unsurprisingly this chemical concoction was responsible for many scalp burns. These burns were quite common to the extent that they were not really given much notice. In fact it was considered as part of the price one had to pay just to look good.
I know there's a more recent documentary film, 'Good Hair' which I havent watched yet but remember Darryl and his family in the movie, 'Coming To America'? They all sprayed on so much curl activator on their jheri curled hair that they left a large amount of the grease on their host's sofas. If the curls had earned them points with their hosts Im sure the cleaning of all that grease was enough to cause a substantial dent in their points balance. This was a sharp contrast to their rival, Akim, who claimed to the barber that he only used 'juices and berries' on his soft short afro hair. I'm not sure which juices and berries they used in 'Zamunda' (the country which he came from) but they must have been really good.
Generally speaking grooming long natural unprocessed hair can be time consuming and it requires tender loving care especially if its of a finer texture. Some years ago I lived in a very hot and humid area up the North end of Australia and it didnt take me long to discover that afro and humidity do not go well together. I resorted to weaves and wigs and while they really looked good, they were just not for me so after much pondering I ditched them altogether and didnt mind looking all 'too African'.Just as we were preparing to leave Australia I thought I would try out a lace weave and my scalp itched so much it lasted just one week exactly. How ironic that even though I do realise that for someone who is not gifted in hair braiding (ie me) and struggles with just doing plain cornrows on my own hair, I still feel a lot happier, freer with my very African looking natural and sometimes short pressed hair....maybe because thats exactly what it is.
Indeed the very hairs on everyone's head are numbered and so whatever your style or texture, straight, coarse, curly, tightly kinked, permed or natural....embrace and love yours for each strand was purposely placed there and even when some of it falls off, the remaining strands are known to God. Wear it with pride....its a gift.
To all my friends from a diversity of backgrounds, what are your hair-stories in your history and present?
Happy hair days to you all....
Disclaimer: No responsibility will be taken by the author for any decisions taken to chop off chemically processed hair in order to resort to 'just juices and berries'. She will also not be held liable for any regrets arising from difficult to manage and stubborn knots and kinks (in the case of afro hair that refuses to co-operate)
Natural afro hair comes in many different textures just as there are many different skin tones even within the same racial groups.It ranges from the very tightly kinked thick curls to the very 'cottony soft' textured waves. Why did I let go of the relaxers? Well, for starters, the mere fact that I was constantly exposing myself to harsh chemicals and frying my hair every so often just for the straight look was a good enough reason. Besides if I needed it straightened I could always use a hot iron. Remember the 'stretching combs' back in the 80's? For the sake of my younger readers ,these were iron combs which were usually heated on a stove plate and used to straighten vaseline coated afro hair. This was usually done in sections (just like you would do with a hot iron). You could literally smell your hair being toasted or rather fried to straightness in all that petroleum. The last thing you would want after that was the rain or any sort moisture as this would take your straightened afro straight back to its natural kinky state.
The risk of scalp irritations or even burns was another push factor and I also didnt like the greasiness from regularly oiling my hair. Thankfully it wasnt as bad as the oiliness of the Jheri curl which was again very popular in the 80's and looked glossy and very wavy since it had to be lardered with greasy curl activator to keep it from drying out. In case you are wondering, no, I never had the jheri curl but I know a bit about how the hair was permed using perm lotion which had a really strong smell since my mum at one point owned a salon. The stuff had a strong pungent smell and unsurprisingly this chemical concoction was responsible for many scalp burns. These burns were quite common to the extent that they were not really given much notice. In fact it was considered as part of the price one had to pay just to look good.
I know there's a more recent documentary film, 'Good Hair' which I havent watched yet but remember Darryl and his family in the movie, 'Coming To America'? They all sprayed on so much curl activator on their jheri curled hair that they left a large amount of the grease on their host's sofas. If the curls had earned them points with their hosts Im sure the cleaning of all that grease was enough to cause a substantial dent in their points balance. This was a sharp contrast to their rival, Akim, who claimed to the barber that he only used 'juices and berries' on his soft short afro hair. I'm not sure which juices and berries they used in 'Zamunda' (the country which he came from) but they must have been really good.
Generally speaking grooming long natural unprocessed hair can be time consuming and it requires tender loving care especially if its of a finer texture. Some years ago I lived in a very hot and humid area up the North end of Australia and it didnt take me long to discover that afro and humidity do not go well together. I resorted to weaves and wigs and while they really looked good, they were just not for me so after much pondering I ditched them altogether and didnt mind looking all 'too African'.Just as we were preparing to leave Australia I thought I would try out a lace weave and my scalp itched so much it lasted just one week exactly. How ironic that even though I do realise that for someone who is not gifted in hair braiding (ie me) and struggles with just doing plain cornrows on my own hair, I still feel a lot happier, freer with my very African looking natural and sometimes short pressed hair....maybe because thats exactly what it is.
Indeed the very hairs on everyone's head are numbered and so whatever your style or texture, straight, coarse, curly, tightly kinked, permed or natural....embrace and love yours for each strand was purposely placed there and even when some of it falls off, the remaining strands are known to God. Wear it with pride....its a gift.
To all my friends from a diversity of backgrounds, what are your hair-stories in your history and present?
Happy hair days to you all....
Disclaimer: No responsibility will be taken by the author for any decisions taken to chop off chemically processed hair in order to resort to 'just juices and berries'. She will also not be held liable for any regrets arising from difficult to manage and stubborn knots and kinks (in the case of afro hair that refuses to co-operate)
Saturday, 10 September 2011
'Healthy' divorce
One definition of divorce:separation and disunion of things closely united or the dissolution of marriage
For some people, divorce is absolutely necessary and maybe inevitable. It normally takes marriage to come to this realisation. Now, before you get into panic mode about the 'D' word, please hear me out.
Once upon a time for some men and women , they had dreams of one day finding the right (and might I add 'perfect') partner and being married happily ever after. They envisioned blissful evenings of romance perfectly cut out from heaven. Prince Charming would no doubt be the perfect gentleman who looked as though he had stepped right out of a storybook. Lady Dazzling would also be the ever picture perfect bride ,cooking in sky high stilettos everyday and looking just as beautiful in the morning as if she had just had a makeover for a photo shoot and her hair as if she had just been to the salon (which means she definitely wouldnt have natural afro hair!)
You see, when Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball, she's all dolled up and he falls in love with her. He decides to marry her and I've always wondered why he didnt gasp when he eventually found her , dressed in her raggedy looking clothes (well maybe he did) but still chose to marry her as she was. At midnight, Cinderella's ballgown and glamour disappear. She does not go to bed with her glass slippers or her crown from the ball. For some married and single people too, there is a need to divorce the 'pre midnight' spouses they have closely united themselves to so they can actually be married to the real person they said or will say 'I do' to. When you said "I do", was it to the flawless fairytale Prince Charming on a horse or to the not so perfect but real and loving person standing before you? If it was to the fairytale spouse and you are still married to them then you'll probably see your husband or wife as the 'frog' in your tale. Well, I've got some bad news and good news...your spouse is not the 'frog' and neither are you the 'frog' in their story....he or she is the real deal and so are you! (How you take that news will determine which bit is the good and which bit is the bad).
I know I love getting dolled up now and again but to be honest, the idea of cooking in stilettos makes me cringe. When I'm at home I do not like looking like Im dressed for a ball, for church or as if I've just come from an office job interview. I love comfortable and relaxed attire . Men, your Cinderella is still the same person even in her track pants ,comfy sweater and ponytail. Ladies, if he 'forgets' to open the door for you, needs to be 'reminded' to take out the trash everytime and looks nothing like Denzel in the mornings...he is still your groom, waiting to be loved and to shower you with love.
Divorce the fantasy people who never burp at all, hair never unruffled and always perfectly perfect all round. They get in the way of the real bride or groom you've been blessed with. Even when the clock strikes midnight...the loving should continue.
As you divorce these fantasy people, realise that the person you are with is not a misfit spoiling your fairytale marriage but is the real deal. May your marriages flourish and prosper. For those still looking to get married, may you find true love and say 'I do' to the real deal.
Love and blessings
For some people, divorce is absolutely necessary and maybe inevitable. It normally takes marriage to come to this realisation. Now, before you get into panic mode about the 'D' word, please hear me out.
Once upon a time for some men and women , they had dreams of one day finding the right (and might I add 'perfect') partner and being married happily ever after. They envisioned blissful evenings of romance perfectly cut out from heaven. Prince Charming would no doubt be the perfect gentleman who looked as though he had stepped right out of a storybook. Lady Dazzling would also be the ever picture perfect bride ,cooking in sky high stilettos everyday and looking just as beautiful in the morning as if she had just had a makeover for a photo shoot and her hair as if she had just been to the salon (which means she definitely wouldnt have natural afro hair!)
You see, when Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball, she's all dolled up and he falls in love with her. He decides to marry her and I've always wondered why he didnt gasp when he eventually found her , dressed in her raggedy looking clothes (well maybe he did) but still chose to marry her as she was. At midnight, Cinderella's ballgown and glamour disappear. She does not go to bed with her glass slippers or her crown from the ball. For some married and single people too, there is a need to divorce the 'pre midnight' spouses they have closely united themselves to so they can actually be married to the real person they said or will say 'I do' to. When you said "I do", was it to the flawless fairytale Prince Charming on a horse or to the not so perfect but real and loving person standing before you? If it was to the fairytale spouse and you are still married to them then you'll probably see your husband or wife as the 'frog' in your tale. Well, I've got some bad news and good news...your spouse is not the 'frog' and neither are you the 'frog' in their story....he or she is the real deal and so are you! (How you take that news will determine which bit is the good and which bit is the bad).
I know I love getting dolled up now and again but to be honest, the idea of cooking in stilettos makes me cringe. When I'm at home I do not like looking like Im dressed for a ball, for church or as if I've just come from an office job interview. I love comfortable and relaxed attire . Men, your Cinderella is still the same person even in her track pants ,comfy sweater and ponytail. Ladies, if he 'forgets' to open the door for you, needs to be 'reminded' to take out the trash everytime and looks nothing like Denzel in the mornings...he is still your groom, waiting to be loved and to shower you with love.
Divorce the fantasy people who never burp at all, hair never unruffled and always perfectly perfect all round. They get in the way of the real bride or groom you've been blessed with. Even when the clock strikes midnight...the loving should continue.
As you divorce these fantasy people, realise that the person you are with is not a misfit spoiling your fairytale marriage but is the real deal. May your marriages flourish and prosper. For those still looking to get married, may you find true love and say 'I do' to the real deal.
Love and blessings
Monday, 29 August 2011
'Stuff'
Apparently moving house is rated as being one of the top stressors in life according to some researches.I do not know how accurate these researches are but if there is any morsel of truth in the findings then my journey would no doubt bust the stress-o-meter.In the last ten years I've lived in four countries,three continents,eight towns or suburbs(we wont even count the houses!) and still managed to find space somewhere within all that moving about to give birth twice. (Just in case you are wondering.....no, Im not an army wife).In a few days time I'll be embarking on yet another voyage which will see me transported thousands of miles to another country in a different continent.
Each move, I must admit, always comes along with its own sets of challenges. One of these involves trying to determine what to take , what to throw out, what to give away and what to sell. Inevitably ,as we settle and build homes there is a tendency to accumulate 'stuff'(some more than others!).In the past few weeks as we have been gearing ourselves for the move, we were faced with this challenge of deciding which categories to allocate the different items we had accumulated. It felt a bit like playing a kind of 'X-factor' with our belongings. At the beginning of this exercise there was quite a dilemma as almost everything seemed to be crying out to stay with us. Yes, the urge to hold on to things was so great....some of course were of sentimental value but it was quite surprising to me how unknowingly we can become so attached to stuff. Its almost as if the stuff possesses us and not vice versa. It is true that whenever you cannot let go of something, it has a hold over you.This realisation immediately made me change my stance and I began to mercilessly cull through the stuff. There are times when you will need to shed off what you have accumulated in order to make room for the life ahead of you. Similarly there will be times in life when you will need to let go of 'some stuff' within .....mindsets and attitudes that have served their purpose in one season of your life but will otherwise become excess baggage in the next phase of your journey (and if you have ever travelled by plane you will know how costly those extra kilograms over and above what you've been allocated can be.)What emotions have you packed into the suitcase of your life that really are now just adding unneccessary weight that will keep pulling you backwards?
Interestingly, once we had let go of the big items there was another realisation....its those small bits and bobs that are actually more cumbersome to work through (you know those containers of elastic bands, pins, lipsticks etcetera etcetera). These bits and bobs actually take up more time to sort through as opposed to the straight forward big items. What small things are eating up your space and calling for more attention than they are worth? I decided to just throw them all out instead of spending hours sorting through ten cent pins and lipsticks from years gone by. Even in relationships there are those 'little emotional containers' where all the unresolved bits and bobs go into for 'sorting out' later on (and all the men say 'amen')! Let them go, they will take up too much of your valuable time.
To be quite honest, these seasons of purging and decluttering because of the impending journeys have always been a real eye opener for me. As I write this, Im sitting in an almost empty house. The packers came in this morning, packed away and took with them what we decided to keep for freighting to our next destination.There is however a price to pay when taking stuff to a different country.In the same way, there is a price to pay when you hold on to emotional baggage. Some emotions are worth holding onto whilst others are just not worth it.Why would you pay four hundred dollars to freight a one dollar item?
How much do we actually need in terms of material possessions? With not much left in this house I do feel a certain kind of freedom. I love the fact that I've emptied my space and while standing in this gap between my current abode and the next season of my life I cant help but feel that the things that we cannot see can sometimes be more fulfilling than the 'things' or 'stuff' we surround ourselves with. I've felt the warmth and love of friends and family as we've been preparing to part. There have been a lot of priceless moments in the past weeks as we've shared simple meals of pizza, sausage sizzles , fish and chips ...while sitting on the floor and enjoying heartfelt laughter and just being together.In fact,a very dear friend on one occasion ,probably because she had seen the 'chaos' I was in while packing, invited us for leftovers and that meal of leftovers was absolutely divine! I wonder how often we've missed the opportunities to nourish others with a good meal because all we had for that day were leftovers? These precious moments are totally independent of what 'things' we have.
So, as I bid Australia goodbye for now, I can confidently say Im looking forward to what lies ahead for I know that The Lord who is with us has also already gone before us and I look forward to being filled with more of His love ,joy and happiness. I do not know what's in store but I trust Him who is taking us there.
May you blossom and be fruitful where you are planted.....
Love and blessings
Each move, I must admit, always comes along with its own sets of challenges. One of these involves trying to determine what to take , what to throw out, what to give away and what to sell. Inevitably ,as we settle and build homes there is a tendency to accumulate 'stuff'(some more than others!).In the past few weeks as we have been gearing ourselves for the move, we were faced with this challenge of deciding which categories to allocate the different items we had accumulated. It felt a bit like playing a kind of 'X-factor' with our belongings. At the beginning of this exercise there was quite a dilemma as almost everything seemed to be crying out to stay with us. Yes, the urge to hold on to things was so great....some of course were of sentimental value but it was quite surprising to me how unknowingly we can become so attached to stuff. Its almost as if the stuff possesses us and not vice versa. It is true that whenever you cannot let go of something, it has a hold over you.This realisation immediately made me change my stance and I began to mercilessly cull through the stuff. There are times when you will need to shed off what you have accumulated in order to make room for the life ahead of you. Similarly there will be times in life when you will need to let go of 'some stuff' within .....mindsets and attitudes that have served their purpose in one season of your life but will otherwise become excess baggage in the next phase of your journey (and if you have ever travelled by plane you will know how costly those extra kilograms over and above what you've been allocated can be.)What emotions have you packed into the suitcase of your life that really are now just adding unneccessary weight that will keep pulling you backwards?
Interestingly, once we had let go of the big items there was another realisation....its those small bits and bobs that are actually more cumbersome to work through (you know those containers of elastic bands, pins, lipsticks etcetera etcetera). These bits and bobs actually take up more time to sort through as opposed to the straight forward big items. What small things are eating up your space and calling for more attention than they are worth? I decided to just throw them all out instead of spending hours sorting through ten cent pins and lipsticks from years gone by. Even in relationships there are those 'little emotional containers' where all the unresolved bits and bobs go into for 'sorting out' later on (and all the men say 'amen')! Let them go, they will take up too much of your valuable time.
To be quite honest, these seasons of purging and decluttering because of the impending journeys have always been a real eye opener for me. As I write this, Im sitting in an almost empty house. The packers came in this morning, packed away and took with them what we decided to keep for freighting to our next destination.There is however a price to pay when taking stuff to a different country.In the same way, there is a price to pay when you hold on to emotional baggage. Some emotions are worth holding onto whilst others are just not worth it.Why would you pay four hundred dollars to freight a one dollar item?
How much do we actually need in terms of material possessions? With not much left in this house I do feel a certain kind of freedom. I love the fact that I've emptied my space and while standing in this gap between my current abode and the next season of my life I cant help but feel that the things that we cannot see can sometimes be more fulfilling than the 'things' or 'stuff' we surround ourselves with. I've felt the warmth and love of friends and family as we've been preparing to part. There have been a lot of priceless moments in the past weeks as we've shared simple meals of pizza, sausage sizzles , fish and chips ...while sitting on the floor and enjoying heartfelt laughter and just being together.In fact,a very dear friend on one occasion ,probably because she had seen the 'chaos' I was in while packing, invited us for leftovers and that meal of leftovers was absolutely divine! I wonder how often we've missed the opportunities to nourish others with a good meal because all we had for that day were leftovers? These precious moments are totally independent of what 'things' we have.
So, as I bid Australia goodbye for now, I can confidently say Im looking forward to what lies ahead for I know that The Lord who is with us has also already gone before us and I look forward to being filled with more of His love ,joy and happiness. I do not know what's in store but I trust Him who is taking us there.
May you blossom and be fruitful where you are planted.....
Love and blessings
Thursday, 21 July 2011
More than a billion tremors
Ever watched a movie or read a book that left you in tears? One that pulled on your heartstrings and stirred your emotions. Or one that left you feeling inspired, challenged and motivated to do more with what you have been blessed with. I do read a lot and have a good fair movies that have had that effect on me but I will not list them here because this post really isn’t about scripted movies and novels. Books and films do take us into other worlds and these worlds do sometimes have the ability to inspire, sadden or draw on the compassionate side of our being.I will come back to the books and movies at a later stage but for now, allow me to rewind the years a bit to certain events in the not-so-distant past.
The month was December and the year was 2004. I had just had my first baby. I remember switching on the telly and being greeted with news that left me in tears and struggling to fully comprehend the magnitude of this particular catastrophe. A tsunami had mercilessly swept through Indonesia. The devastation and loss of human lives was unimaginable.
It is never possible to accurately predict the damage that an impending storm will leave behind before it actually hits. Over a year ago we watched in horror as a massive earthquake wrecked havoc and destruction of an unimaginable magnitude in Haiti. We watched as devastated and wounded people searched through the rubble for their loved ones, young and old. Most of us watched honestly kind of helplessly wondering how and what we could do to help or at least alleviate the suffering for the survivors of this tragedy. Would they have the backbone to cope with the pain and trauma of surviving such a blow from nature. A few days later,while the survivors were still trying to wake themselves up from what they were hoping was just a nightmare,there were aftershocks,as if to give them that pinch to let them know that they really were awake. More devastation followed upon the already wounded and weeping land.Yet again,the survivors wondered if they would make it through, given what they had endured and experienced in the first incident.Many lives were lost, many others wounded. It was as if there was an invisible hand strangling the life out of the precious souls of this land.
Since then there have been more natural disasters spread around the world :earthquakes,tsunamis,fires,cyclones and floods which have left their imprints on not just the land but on the physical, emotional, spiritual and financial spheres of people all across the globe. Because of the scale of damage from these natural disasters, they have grabbed the attention of the world and caused those even in the unaffected areas to stop and ponder on the fleeting nature of our earthly lives as well as arousing compassion...that stirring that comes naturally to a human being when confronted by or witnessing another go through turmoils of different kinds.
The truth is that there are less obvious ‘quakes’ that though hidden, still leave devastation and never quite grab the world’s attention. These tsunamis and quakes are of varying magnitudes. Quakes big enough to cause devastation of a great scale but not visible enough to bring news crews rushing in with the lights and cameras. Natural disasters come uninvited, as do some of these ‘disasters’.They are tremors that shake 'billions of worlds'...as many worlds as there are people on this earth.Sometimes they are so concealed, so secretive and yet so intense that they leave the victims wounded and dead within. Yes, it takes less than death to steal a life.In this world troubles will come. Without the grace and mercy of God people do crumble under the weight of these ‘tremors’.
In nursing, the pulse is used to check overall heart and health fitness levels physically. In view of the individual and personal quakes that are intense enough to be able to steal life and crush the spirit ,when was the last time you checked the ‘pulse’ of someone in your world and shined your light on them? Do you notice when someone is struggling to build endurance or when they are engulfed by the waters of inward tsunamis but with no news crews waiting by to highlight their plight? Do you feel stirred when you see someone who is overcome by the feeling of standing on sinking sand? Or is all this obscured by the veil of busyness? Are you too ‘busy’ to the point that you are too deaf to the cries of loneliness and blind to the needs around you. The people around you matter. If some of their life stories were to be replayed on the big screen, you would probably reach out for the Kleenex or give them a standing ovation. Only a handful of stories make it to the movies out of the billions of real life scripts that are being penned everyday.
Take time to check on the pulse of those around you.Do they still have a healthy heartbeat in their soul or are they silently dying inside while wearing a smile in an attempt to mask the death within? Are you awake and aware of those around you, the people that you have been blessed with on the journey of life? Make yourself available to encourage, strengthen and cheer others on without judgement. Allow people to be comfortable enough to expose themselves without the fear of you exposing them but protecting and praying for them instead. Be sensitive and discerning enough to notice the ‘tremors’ in their worlds and see beyond the facades.
Do away with unproductive 'busyness' and stay away from sterilized philosophies that have 'zero' heart in them.If a movie or a book can make you cry, if news of human tragedies all over the world can make you stop, ponder and feel for those affected, then you do have a heart. Take time to read the pages being written by the people around you and listen to their stories. If you feel hardened,pray for compassion and tenderness because someone within your sphere of influence needs you give them a standing ovation or encourage them. There are more than a billion tremors in the world and each person can do something, however little to strengthen and build others up.
Today take time to say a prayer for someone you know is in need of raindrops from heaven.
Love and blessings to you all
The month was December and the year was 2004. I had just had my first baby. I remember switching on the telly and being greeted with news that left me in tears and struggling to fully comprehend the magnitude of this particular catastrophe. A tsunami had mercilessly swept through Indonesia. The devastation and loss of human lives was unimaginable.
It is never possible to accurately predict the damage that an impending storm will leave behind before it actually hits. Over a year ago we watched in horror as a massive earthquake wrecked havoc and destruction of an unimaginable magnitude in Haiti. We watched as devastated and wounded people searched through the rubble for their loved ones, young and old. Most of us watched honestly kind of helplessly wondering how and what we could do to help or at least alleviate the suffering for the survivors of this tragedy. Would they have the backbone to cope with the pain and trauma of surviving such a blow from nature. A few days later,while the survivors were still trying to wake themselves up from what they were hoping was just a nightmare,there were aftershocks,as if to give them that pinch to let them know that they really were awake. More devastation followed upon the already wounded and weeping land.Yet again,the survivors wondered if they would make it through, given what they had endured and experienced in the first incident.Many lives were lost, many others wounded. It was as if there was an invisible hand strangling the life out of the precious souls of this land.
Since then there have been more natural disasters spread around the world :earthquakes,tsunamis,fires,cyclones and floods which have left their imprints on not just the land but on the physical, emotional, spiritual and financial spheres of people all across the globe. Because of the scale of damage from these natural disasters, they have grabbed the attention of the world and caused those even in the unaffected areas to stop and ponder on the fleeting nature of our earthly lives as well as arousing compassion...that stirring that comes naturally to a human being when confronted by or witnessing another go through turmoils of different kinds.
The truth is that there are less obvious ‘quakes’ that though hidden, still leave devastation and never quite grab the world’s attention. These tsunamis and quakes are of varying magnitudes. Quakes big enough to cause devastation of a great scale but not visible enough to bring news crews rushing in with the lights and cameras. Natural disasters come uninvited, as do some of these ‘disasters’.They are tremors that shake 'billions of worlds'...as many worlds as there are people on this earth.Sometimes they are so concealed, so secretive and yet so intense that they leave the victims wounded and dead within. Yes, it takes less than death to steal a life.In this world troubles will come. Without the grace and mercy of God people do crumble under the weight of these ‘tremors’.
In nursing, the pulse is used to check overall heart and health fitness levels physically. In view of the individual and personal quakes that are intense enough to be able to steal life and crush the spirit ,when was the last time you checked the ‘pulse’ of someone in your world and shined your light on them? Do you notice when someone is struggling to build endurance or when they are engulfed by the waters of inward tsunamis but with no news crews waiting by to highlight their plight? Do you feel stirred when you see someone who is overcome by the feeling of standing on sinking sand? Or is all this obscured by the veil of busyness? Are you too ‘busy’ to the point that you are too deaf to the cries of loneliness and blind to the needs around you. The people around you matter. If some of their life stories were to be replayed on the big screen, you would probably reach out for the Kleenex or give them a standing ovation. Only a handful of stories make it to the movies out of the billions of real life scripts that are being penned everyday.
Take time to check on the pulse of those around you.Do they still have a healthy heartbeat in their soul or are they silently dying inside while wearing a smile in an attempt to mask the death within? Are you awake and aware of those around you, the people that you have been blessed with on the journey of life? Make yourself available to encourage, strengthen and cheer others on without judgement. Allow people to be comfortable enough to expose themselves without the fear of you exposing them but protecting and praying for them instead. Be sensitive and discerning enough to notice the ‘tremors’ in their worlds and see beyond the facades.
Do away with unproductive 'busyness' and stay away from sterilized philosophies that have 'zero' heart in them.If a movie or a book can make you cry, if news of human tragedies all over the world can make you stop, ponder and feel for those affected, then you do have a heart. Take time to read the pages being written by the people around you and listen to their stories. If you feel hardened,pray for compassion and tenderness because someone within your sphere of influence needs you give them a standing ovation or encourage them. There are more than a billion tremors in the world and each person can do something, however little to strengthen and build others up.
Today take time to say a prayer for someone you know is in need of raindrops from heaven.
Love and blessings to you all
Friday, 1 July 2011
Rocking The Cradle
Giving birth is painful (thank you Eve!). However, there is something magical about the arrival of a new-born baby. When I had my babies, each delivery left me with a myriad of positive emotions, emotions that I can only describe as torrential waves of a pure and intense kind of love which flooded my entire heart and my whole being. Instinctively, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I loved these little bundles-of-joy so much that I would be willing to do whatever it took to for me to nurture them into their full potential. These emotions, so strong and so tangible often left me thinking of my own mother and realising that I, too, at one point, was a newborn baby in the hands of my mother. For most women, giving birth will often kindle or rekindle an appreciation of their mums through new eyes. In fact, everyone you see, from the wealthiest to the poorest, from the biggest to the tiniest started out in this world as a baby.
Babies give their love unconditionally. Their love is pure, their innocence is untainted and they carry a freshness and a purity. Babies do not know or care if you are wealthy or poor. They have no perception of poverty or wealth and therefore respond from a position of clarity, innocence and love. They do not worry about how they look or how the grown-ups around them look. They love and just want to be loved. It’s no wonder that when people come into the presence of newborns they ‘ooooo’ and ‘aaaaaa’ at this new creation. But alas, they do not stay as babies. They grow and it takes a lot of wisdom, patience and grace to raise these little babies and nurture the gifts within them so they can flourish into responsible and successful God fearing adults.
From as far back as I can remember I always adored babies and would find myself pondering on the mysteriousness of how these little adorable bundles came into being. In fact the earliest memory I have is of my little brother's birth. I was only three years old when mum and dad brought him home and I remember being so smitten by his tiny little fingers and everything about him. That was me back then and I should say I still have not outgrown my love for babies and children. I have my own children now and I’m thankful for the wealth and abundance of information and resources available to us to aide us in our parenting.
As our society continues to evolve and grow, more and more options for self development and progression have become available to most people. As the choices broaden, so too do the debates and arguments as to whether or not each person is doing the right thing or making the right choice. Mothering is no exception and more often than not I meet women who are burdened with fear, guilt and worry because they do not know whether they are making the right decision in as far as raising their children is concerned. Is there a ‘one size fits all’ method of being a ‘good’ mother? How do we fulfil and honour that initial desire that we had when we held our babies for the first time, that desire to do our best to raise happy and responsible kids?
In my journey the ‘one size fits all’ method that I do know about is Scripture. You see, all Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting, training and protecting as well as equipping us and our children for every good work in this fascinating journey of life and all that comes with it. . As mothers (and fathers), we have the great honour and privilege of providing input, management and direction into this new being’s brand new start! When we get a revelation of what an opportunity it is to share in these divine moments and opportunities and when we realise the enormity of the responsibility we carry, parenting becomes such an honour, a joy and a privilege.
In recent times, I have known many a mother (and father) who either carries or is driven by the “guilt” of not being able to spend “enough” time with their children. Focusing a little on the mothers for now, the decision to either be a working mum or to “live off one salary” and be a stay-at-home mum features highly in the lives of many mothers as it is sometimes almost viewed as a choice between your children and your vocation. There is no shortage of debates and research on this matter but the question still remains - Is there an umbrella or universal formula that should work for all mothers? I do not think there could ever be one magical universal formula or approach just as there cannot be a universal personality for all mankind.
Some women are wired naturally as “traditional” nurturers who find purpose and fulfilment in having and nurturing children – the future of mankind. They find joy and happiness in this role and will often feel enhanced by executing the role to the very best of their God-given ability. Nowadays, the traditional nurturing mothers are not necessarily correctly portrayed and at times are demeaned as being frumpy-looking, unkempt, ignorant, uneducated and severely overweight women with old over-starched Mother’s Day aprons secured and locked around their waists. In my travels, I have had the great pleasure of meeting numerous very intelligent, highly educated and professionally qualified, compassionate, socially aware women who have made the decision to be in this category and to follow this path more because it is their passion rather than because it is the natural or “expected” thing for them to do.
On the other hand, there are those mothers who deeply love their children but who are also very driven and enhanced by activities outside the mothering and home arena. In some cases, these women will feel claustrophobic, emotionally strained and suffocated if not given the space and opportunities to fulfil their hearts’ desire: which is to see the talent and abilities that they carry outside of the home fulfilled. Then of course there are those women who are able to combine both worlds with relative ease and finesse…maybe and just maybe… sometimes with a tinge of guilt but generally they feel fulfilled in what they do and how they live..
And so we are back again to the beginning: is there a ‘right way’ of being a mother when it comes to lifestyle choices? The ‘right way’ for each mother should be determined by what feels right for her and her family in whatever season of their lives that they find themselves. This one thing I do know though – that without this one specific universal ingredient, no method will succeed…ever – and that is the ingredient of love. As I shared before, whatever your faith, pray for your little ones, love them and whether you are a stay-at-home mum, businesswoman, career woman with a family to raise or whatever else you may be involved in, remember that God will furnish you thoroughly to fulfil all the good works you have been commissioned to do…only ask. Do the very best that you can, with what you have and without comparing yourself with anyone else. Rather, encourage and cheer others on as we all continue on this great journey together.
Till next time…
Babies give their love unconditionally. Their love is pure, their innocence is untainted and they carry a freshness and a purity. Babies do not know or care if you are wealthy or poor. They have no perception of poverty or wealth and therefore respond from a position of clarity, innocence and love. They do not worry about how they look or how the grown-ups around them look. They love and just want to be loved. It’s no wonder that when people come into the presence of newborns they ‘ooooo’ and ‘aaaaaa’ at this new creation. But alas, they do not stay as babies. They grow and it takes a lot of wisdom, patience and grace to raise these little babies and nurture the gifts within them so they can flourish into responsible and successful God fearing adults.
From as far back as I can remember I always adored babies and would find myself pondering on the mysteriousness of how these little adorable bundles came into being. In fact the earliest memory I have is of my little brother's birth. I was only three years old when mum and dad brought him home and I remember being so smitten by his tiny little fingers and everything about him. That was me back then and I should say I still have not outgrown my love for babies and children. I have my own children now and I’m thankful for the wealth and abundance of information and resources available to us to aide us in our parenting.
As our society continues to evolve and grow, more and more options for self development and progression have become available to most people. As the choices broaden, so too do the debates and arguments as to whether or not each person is doing the right thing or making the right choice. Mothering is no exception and more often than not I meet women who are burdened with fear, guilt and worry because they do not know whether they are making the right decision in as far as raising their children is concerned. Is there a ‘one size fits all’ method of being a ‘good’ mother? How do we fulfil and honour that initial desire that we had when we held our babies for the first time, that desire to do our best to raise happy and responsible kids?
In my journey the ‘one size fits all’ method that I do know about is Scripture. You see, all Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting, training and protecting as well as equipping us and our children for every good work in this fascinating journey of life and all that comes with it. . As mothers (and fathers), we have the great honour and privilege of providing input, management and direction into this new being’s brand new start! When we get a revelation of what an opportunity it is to share in these divine moments and opportunities and when we realise the enormity of the responsibility we carry, parenting becomes such an honour, a joy and a privilege.
In recent times, I have known many a mother (and father) who either carries or is driven by the “guilt” of not being able to spend “enough” time with their children. Focusing a little on the mothers for now, the decision to either be a working mum or to “live off one salary” and be a stay-at-home mum features highly in the lives of many mothers as it is sometimes almost viewed as a choice between your children and your vocation. There is no shortage of debates and research on this matter but the question still remains - Is there an umbrella or universal formula that should work for all mothers? I do not think there could ever be one magical universal formula or approach just as there cannot be a universal personality for all mankind.
Some women are wired naturally as “traditional” nurturers who find purpose and fulfilment in having and nurturing children – the future of mankind. They find joy and happiness in this role and will often feel enhanced by executing the role to the very best of their God-given ability. Nowadays, the traditional nurturing mothers are not necessarily correctly portrayed and at times are demeaned as being frumpy-looking, unkempt, ignorant, uneducated and severely overweight women with old over-starched Mother’s Day aprons secured and locked around their waists. In my travels, I have had the great pleasure of meeting numerous very intelligent, highly educated and professionally qualified, compassionate, socially aware women who have made the decision to be in this category and to follow this path more because it is their passion rather than because it is the natural or “expected” thing for them to do.
On the other hand, there are those mothers who deeply love their children but who are also very driven and enhanced by activities outside the mothering and home arena. In some cases, these women will feel claustrophobic, emotionally strained and suffocated if not given the space and opportunities to fulfil their hearts’ desire: which is to see the talent and abilities that they carry outside of the home fulfilled. Then of course there are those women who are able to combine both worlds with relative ease and finesse…maybe and just maybe… sometimes with a tinge of guilt but generally they feel fulfilled in what they do and how they live..
And so we are back again to the beginning: is there a ‘right way’ of being a mother when it comes to lifestyle choices? The ‘right way’ for each mother should be determined by what feels right for her and her family in whatever season of their lives that they find themselves. This one thing I do know though – that without this one specific universal ingredient, no method will succeed…ever – and that is the ingredient of love. As I shared before, whatever your faith, pray for your little ones, love them and whether you are a stay-at-home mum, businesswoman, career woman with a family to raise or whatever else you may be involved in, remember that God will furnish you thoroughly to fulfil all the good works you have been commissioned to do…only ask. Do the very best that you can, with what you have and without comparing yourself with anyone else. Rather, encourage and cheer others on as we all continue on this great journey together.
Till next time…
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