The Buzz

Growing up, social etiquette lessons were a major part of my everyday life. Some behaviour was just plainly not acceptable and you had to learn until you knew right from wrong and until that ‘knowing’ became almost like second nature. You could liken it to walking. Do you remember being taught to walk? Do you still think about which foot to put in front of the other and how to lift it when you walk? If you’ve ever seen a baby learning to walk (and I take it that if you are old enough to read this then at some point you would have witnessed some of these ‘walking lessons’) then you would know that we all have been taught to walk but because we have mastered it we do not have to consciously think about it now. Some of these unacceptable breaches of social etiquette that, unlike walking, I remember being taught about and ended up ‘mastering’ them included: not peeping into people’s houses, not pointing a finger at someone, not gossiping or entertaining gossip and the list goes on. One of the dictionary definitions of gossip is, ‘idle talk or rumour about others’ private lives’.

Now imagine being in a world where you could walk around poking at people and occasionally being poked at too, a world where you could literally peep into people’s lives without being told off for it and where you could hang out with the gossip lady of the century. You see, this gossip lady would be able to keep you entertained and ‘filled-in’ for days on end. She could tell you who’s married to who; who’s engaged to who; who just had a baby; who’s still single or just got single again; you could eavesdrop on conversations without being incriminated for it(and never mind mum’s advice not to eavesdrop on the conversation of others lest the gossip is about you and you’d be better off not hearing it).This gossip lady would also regularly recommend people that you might possibly want to befriend with the option of ‘unfriending’ them later on if you so wished. As with all gossips, this gossip lady would be well known for being unable to keep secrets and therefore would not make a good confidante. Oddly enough on a daily basis she would have people ‘confiding publicly’ in her and telling her things they probably would never be able to say to anyone else. But of course she never keeps juicy bits of information to herself. She could be likened to a blabbermouth who never gets tired of receiving and dishing out information as it comes. In this world ,in addition to listening to people venting out publicly, you would also be free to throw a tantrum too if you so wished….even grown ups would have this privilege that is somewhat akin to a toddler venting out at the shopping mall in the presence of hundreds of onlookers. Imagine no longer, for this world does exist!

Welcome to the world of social networking. Like anything else in life, social networking sites can be a good tool for just that…..social networking! They are great tools when used for connecting loved ones far and wide but they do not make for good masters. With the emergence of the smart phones, most people who do make use of these sites and are logged in on-the-go, will carry this buzzing world that is always laden with ‘top news’ or ‘breaking news’ type stories, in their pockets and occasionally be glancing or checking in and out to see who’s doing what, who’s saying what and what new notifications are there. Any bit of news you put out into it will circle your network at an impressive speed. And oh yes, you can get poked or ‘super poked’ (ouch) by strangers and friends and you can poke them back too if you so wish.
One has to wonder though, are we really designed with the capacity to meaningfully engage with hundreds (for some) of people at any one given season of life on a one to one and regular basis while at the same time continuing to nurture the ‘non-cyber’ relationships we have ? Where is the line marked for healthy cyber social networking?
I am not against this relatively new (well, for some anyway) phenomena….as evidenced by the fact that you will find me on Facebook. However, when you find yourself flourishing more in your cyber life than in your normal day to day life, then you do need to stop and evaluate. If you have hundreds of cyber friends that you don’t meet with for a catch up now and again in the real world, prefer being on these sites to chatting with the other people in your world and you cannot go for a good while without checking into your account or find yourself reaching out for your phone first thing when your eyes open in the morning and last thing before you close them at night then you do need to rethink your priorities and be honest with yourself...are you addicted to these sites?

While a lot of the things that break the code of acceptable conduct in real life may be permissible in this world, remember that not all things are beneficial. Value your time and use it wisely. These sites are great business tools ,make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family, help to reconnect you with old friends as well as making it possible to plan small events but they make lousy masters. Its not life threatening to be unaware or out of touch with the latest news on who’s said what, who likes something, who’s going where and all the bits of news that you gather there. Used in moderation, they are great but once you abuse or misuse them; even the greatest inventions can become threats that rob you of your valuable asset of time. So next time you are tempted to spend hours'peeping' through your friends' 'windows' on facebook because mum's not there to pinch your ear or tell you off for being idle,remind yourself of the value of your time. What fraction of your time do you allocate to cyber networking and are you using it to nurture and develop meaningful relationships with your loved ones while still functioning at your full capacity in your world?

What are your thoughts?

Sending some love your way