Its a few days to Christmas and unlike all the other past years my house is still not looking dressed for the festive season at all. I'll put it down to having been so occupied with the events of the last three months.....moving continents, two funerals, house hunting plus furnishing the house, homeschooling, getting acquainted with the new area,birthdays.....I'm sure the picture is clearly painted so I can stop there. Today it came as a bit of a 'surprise' that we are this close to Christmas.
The question that I've been toying with today though, is whether or not to get shiny tinsel, lights , a tree and all the works (since I threw all the other ones out before we left Australia)? My kids are used to having the decorations and its become a tradition.Thankfully traditions can be broken and replaced because somehow,this year I cant help but wonder what the real connection between Jesus' birthday, trees and tinsel is? Blame it on the tiredness but I've been struggling to find the link that brings them together.In fact I think I might just have the 'Santa Claus' discussion with my kids and dispel the myth altogether(gasp!). After all, if we are celebrating Jesus' birthday ,'I love Jesus' t-shirts should be on high demand. At the moment I see a lot of 'I love Santa' on a lot of items. It seems Santa has stolen the show. Maybe that's why he does that 'ho ho ho' laugh. If Jesus made an appearance at a Christmas event alongside Santa, I wonder if the people would even recognize Him or would they just go wild for Santa at 'Jesus' own birthday'?
I do enjoy the festivities that surround this time of the year, the spirit of giving and add on to that the massive sales too just after the celebrations but is it all still just about Jesus or is it simply a holiday season of merriment and joy as people connect, recharge and party in preparation for the new year ahead?
For business owners if the year has been a slow one, Christmas time gives you one more chance to 'make it' before the year is up. In fact its such a lucrative time for businesses that some of them literally start advertising for the next year's Christmas presents just as you are still picking out the turkey (or king prawn if you are in Australia) remains from your teeth. What is Christmas and what does it mean to you? At this time of the year its almost inevitable that there'll always be crowds as people scurry around to do their last minute shopping. Interestingly, I have seen people carrying loads of festive goodies but looking so exhausted,stressed and not so 'festive' themselves!
Is this what Christmas is all about? Stress from the hustle and bustle of shopping (for necessary and oh so not necessary stuff),or the 'BIG SALE' adverts that are unavoidable every day of the holiday season.....junk mail,tv, on radio you name it. OR is it a time of reconnecting and enjoying family time as we celebrate the birth of our Savior?
Some children are literally drowned in presents (they have toys coming right up to their ears!) while the parents on the other hand drown themselves in debt which they'll spend the following year trying to clear and stressing over the debt .What are we teaching our children? Do they really need that many 'things' to keep them entertained and make them feel loved and special? Theres nothing wrong with buying gifts for our kids of course but it becomes worrying when that is the main expression of our love for them. What are they learning from these' love expressions'? I remember when I was a child ,things for us were a lot different . We'd all get gifts at Christmas (five of us) but one or two gifts each was enough and yet i never doubted my parents' love for me. We teach our kids what 'enough' is. Sometimes the more kids have , the less grateful they become because such is the nature of materialism.
Gifts should not substitute real affection and family time. Kids dont need the whole toy shop in their home to show them they are appreciated.Hugs, heartfelt laughter and shared kisses create more lasting impressions. Its now so easy to get sucked into being too materialistic.Tuck those credit cards away, go for walks together, build a snowman,go see the local attractions,play games, read stories,tell jokes, watch a feel good movie, cuddle,eat together and create priceless memories that dont put an enormous dent in your finances and leave you struggling to stay afloat financially in the coming year.
What Im saying in a nutshell is, take time to plant, enjoy and smell the REAL roses without having to spend on artificial roses that have no scent and are not as bright.If it is Christ you are celebrating(with or without the tree and decorations), then do spend time with Him and allow His voice to be heard in your homes.
Buy clothes that you NEED, food that you NEED and will eat, cut your cloth according to the measure you have and enjoy the true celebration of Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus and merry Christmas to you all.
Wednesday 14 December 2011
Monday 12 December 2011
Anti-Ageing Silliness
This morning I happened to notice little lines on the sides of my eyes, then it struck me....I now have crows feet! I've heard of these 'facial feet' so often but until today, I'd never really paid attention to them. Surprisingly there are hundreds of products on the market that specifically target this 'problem'.Is it really a problem though,or have we been taught to see it that way? When I saw these lines that are more affectionately called laugh lines I actually felt thrilled. I'm not exactly sure why, but I do know that they did stir up some excitement within me.
Its interesting to note how there are literally hundreds if not thousands of skincare formulas that are 'anti-ageing' and carry the promise of preserving or prolonging the youthful glow. These sell like hot cakes as ladies (and now some men too) strive to look ten or more years younger.They come with the promise of reducing fine lines, attacking wrinkles,restoring youthfulness and the list goes on. To be honest, as I looked at these wonderful natural lines in the corners of my eyes ,I could not help but wonder at the silliness of this anti-ageing phenomena.Have you ever wondered what it would look like if young kids all of a sudden came up with 'anti-puberty' formulas just so they could hold on to their childhood a tad bit longer? Wouldnt it be utterly comical to see little boys and girls trying so hard to get back to being babies again. Oddly enough you have teenagers wanting to look like adults so much while the adults on the other hand are fighting to stay youthful. What chaos!
What is wrong with age, growing, maturing, getting the lines in the different places at their appointed time for each individual? When I was a young girl I remember being surrounded by wonderful women from different generations. Somehow being exposed to the differnt generations and seeing most of them embracing the respective seasons they were in made me feel secure.Seeing older women who were happy and confident even with a few lines here and there was a joy to behold. Imagine being a teenager and going through a crisis but looking around and seeing that the older people who presumably would have the capacity to help and direct you are in a crisis of their own.... hopelessly preoccupied with fighting age and trying to get back their youthful glow?
Good skin care is important as part of one's daily routine. However,as part of nature's wonderful hand, eventually lines will appear and for some its sooner than for others. When you worry about those lines appearing and that hair greying you actually accelerate the process and will probably need more and more of those creams! Worry is a definite catalyst for ageing skin and like anything else, it produces after its own kind...worry gives birth to more worry and more worry means more wrinkles...its a cycle that will feed and sustain itself!
However when you choose to consciously be happy and look at the accumulation of years as something to celebrate then you will embrace the years and 'age' gracefully. Some of the genuinely happy elderly people that I've met do have the wrinkles but they are still full of life and real joy while on the other hand I've seen some 'heavily botoxed' people who have the smoothest wrinkle free faces but look so lifeless because they have no 'expression' on their faces anymore.
Age is not an enemy and facial lines are not hideous. There really is some silliness to fighting age. Its good to 'feel' and experience your real age. Dont be afraid of it. I'm pro-age, and I think I actually like and will keep my crows feet....I'm excited! Here's to being comfortable with the age you are so the younger ones can look forward to getting there too rather than fill them with unnecessary fear and dread because of this uncalled for silliness.
Its interesting to note how there are literally hundreds if not thousands of skincare formulas that are 'anti-ageing' and carry the promise of preserving or prolonging the youthful glow. These sell like hot cakes as ladies (and now some men too) strive to look ten or more years younger.They come with the promise of reducing fine lines, attacking wrinkles,restoring youthfulness and the list goes on. To be honest, as I looked at these wonderful natural lines in the corners of my eyes ,I could not help but wonder at the silliness of this anti-ageing phenomena.Have you ever wondered what it would look like if young kids all of a sudden came up with 'anti-puberty' formulas just so they could hold on to their childhood a tad bit longer? Wouldnt it be utterly comical to see little boys and girls trying so hard to get back to being babies again. Oddly enough you have teenagers wanting to look like adults so much while the adults on the other hand are fighting to stay youthful. What chaos!
What is wrong with age, growing, maturing, getting the lines in the different places at their appointed time for each individual? When I was a young girl I remember being surrounded by wonderful women from different generations. Somehow being exposed to the differnt generations and seeing most of them embracing the respective seasons they were in made me feel secure.Seeing older women who were happy and confident even with a few lines here and there was a joy to behold. Imagine being a teenager and going through a crisis but looking around and seeing that the older people who presumably would have the capacity to help and direct you are in a crisis of their own.... hopelessly preoccupied with fighting age and trying to get back their youthful glow?
Good skin care is important as part of one's daily routine. However,as part of nature's wonderful hand, eventually lines will appear and for some its sooner than for others. When you worry about those lines appearing and that hair greying you actually accelerate the process and will probably need more and more of those creams! Worry is a definite catalyst for ageing skin and like anything else, it produces after its own kind...worry gives birth to more worry and more worry means more wrinkles...its a cycle that will feed and sustain itself!
However when you choose to consciously be happy and look at the accumulation of years as something to celebrate then you will embrace the years and 'age' gracefully. Some of the genuinely happy elderly people that I've met do have the wrinkles but they are still full of life and real joy while on the other hand I've seen some 'heavily botoxed' people who have the smoothest wrinkle free faces but look so lifeless because they have no 'expression' on their faces anymore.
Age is not an enemy and facial lines are not hideous. There really is some silliness to fighting age. Its good to 'feel' and experience your real age. Dont be afraid of it. I'm pro-age, and I think I actually like and will keep my crows feet....I'm excited! Here's to being comfortable with the age you are so the younger ones can look forward to getting there too rather than fill them with unnecessary fear and dread because of this uncalled for silliness.
Wednesday 16 November 2011
'Only Juices And Berries'
Its been several years now since I chopped off my chemically processed hair and decided to go natural. To be honest, short natural afro hair is very manageable but once you decide to grow it out....its a whole different story! It takes a lot of work to maintain it especially when you discover that the salons in the country you live do not 'do that type of hair'.In spite of this, I have never been tempted to go back to the 'creamy crack' and just relax my hair. Relaxing afro hair is a way of permanently straightening the hair chemically.
Natural afro hair comes in many different textures just as there are many different skin tones even within the same racial groups.It ranges from the very tightly kinked thick curls to the very 'cottony soft' textured waves. Why did I let go of the relaxers? Well, for starters, the mere fact that I was constantly exposing myself to harsh chemicals and frying my hair every so often just for the straight look was a good enough reason. Besides if I needed it straightened I could always use a hot iron. Remember the 'stretching combs' back in the 80's? For the sake of my younger readers ,these were iron combs which were usually heated on a stove plate and used to straighten vaseline coated afro hair. This was usually done in sections (just like you would do with a hot iron). You could literally smell your hair being toasted or rather fried to straightness in all that petroleum. The last thing you would want after that was the rain or any sort moisture as this would take your straightened afro straight back to its natural kinky state.
The risk of scalp irritations or even burns was another push factor and I also didnt like the greasiness from regularly oiling my hair. Thankfully it wasnt as bad as the oiliness of the Jheri curl which was again very popular in the 80's and looked glossy and very wavy since it had to be lardered with greasy curl activator to keep it from drying out. In case you are wondering, no, I never had the jheri curl but I know a bit about how the hair was permed using perm lotion which had a really strong smell since my mum at one point owned a salon. The stuff had a strong pungent smell and unsurprisingly this chemical concoction was responsible for many scalp burns. These burns were quite common to the extent that they were not really given much notice. In fact it was considered as part of the price one had to pay just to look good.
I know there's a more recent documentary film, 'Good Hair' which I havent watched yet but remember Darryl and his family in the movie, 'Coming To America'? They all sprayed on so much curl activator on their jheri curled hair that they left a large amount of the grease on their host's sofas. If the curls had earned them points with their hosts Im sure the cleaning of all that grease was enough to cause a substantial dent in their points balance. This was a sharp contrast to their rival, Akim, who claimed to the barber that he only used 'juices and berries' on his soft short afro hair. I'm not sure which juices and berries they used in 'Zamunda' (the country which he came from) but they must have been really good.
Generally speaking grooming long natural unprocessed hair can be time consuming and it requires tender loving care especially if its of a finer texture. Some years ago I lived in a very hot and humid area up the North end of Australia and it didnt take me long to discover that afro and humidity do not go well together. I resorted to weaves and wigs and while they really looked good, they were just not for me so after much pondering I ditched them altogether and didnt mind looking all 'too African'.Just as we were preparing to leave Australia I thought I would try out a lace weave and my scalp itched so much it lasted just one week exactly. How ironic that even though I do realise that for someone who is not gifted in hair braiding (ie me) and struggles with just doing plain cornrows on my own hair, I still feel a lot happier, freer with my very African looking natural and sometimes short pressed hair....maybe because thats exactly what it is.
Indeed the very hairs on everyone's head are numbered and so whatever your style or texture, straight, coarse, curly, tightly kinked, permed or natural....embrace and love yours for each strand was purposely placed there and even when some of it falls off, the remaining strands are known to God. Wear it with pride....its a gift.
To all my friends from a diversity of backgrounds, what are your hair-stories in your history and present?
Happy hair days to you all....
Disclaimer: No responsibility will be taken by the author for any decisions taken to chop off chemically processed hair in order to resort to 'just juices and berries'. She will also not be held liable for any regrets arising from difficult to manage and stubborn knots and kinks (in the case of afro hair that refuses to co-operate)
Natural afro hair comes in many different textures just as there are many different skin tones even within the same racial groups.It ranges from the very tightly kinked thick curls to the very 'cottony soft' textured waves. Why did I let go of the relaxers? Well, for starters, the mere fact that I was constantly exposing myself to harsh chemicals and frying my hair every so often just for the straight look was a good enough reason. Besides if I needed it straightened I could always use a hot iron. Remember the 'stretching combs' back in the 80's? For the sake of my younger readers ,these were iron combs which were usually heated on a stove plate and used to straighten vaseline coated afro hair. This was usually done in sections (just like you would do with a hot iron). You could literally smell your hair being toasted or rather fried to straightness in all that petroleum. The last thing you would want after that was the rain or any sort moisture as this would take your straightened afro straight back to its natural kinky state.
The risk of scalp irritations or even burns was another push factor and I also didnt like the greasiness from regularly oiling my hair. Thankfully it wasnt as bad as the oiliness of the Jheri curl which was again very popular in the 80's and looked glossy and very wavy since it had to be lardered with greasy curl activator to keep it from drying out. In case you are wondering, no, I never had the jheri curl but I know a bit about how the hair was permed using perm lotion which had a really strong smell since my mum at one point owned a salon. The stuff had a strong pungent smell and unsurprisingly this chemical concoction was responsible for many scalp burns. These burns were quite common to the extent that they were not really given much notice. In fact it was considered as part of the price one had to pay just to look good.
I know there's a more recent documentary film, 'Good Hair' which I havent watched yet but remember Darryl and his family in the movie, 'Coming To America'? They all sprayed on so much curl activator on their jheri curled hair that they left a large amount of the grease on their host's sofas. If the curls had earned them points with their hosts Im sure the cleaning of all that grease was enough to cause a substantial dent in their points balance. This was a sharp contrast to their rival, Akim, who claimed to the barber that he only used 'juices and berries' on his soft short afro hair. I'm not sure which juices and berries they used in 'Zamunda' (the country which he came from) but they must have been really good.
Generally speaking grooming long natural unprocessed hair can be time consuming and it requires tender loving care especially if its of a finer texture. Some years ago I lived in a very hot and humid area up the North end of Australia and it didnt take me long to discover that afro and humidity do not go well together. I resorted to weaves and wigs and while they really looked good, they were just not for me so after much pondering I ditched them altogether and didnt mind looking all 'too African'.Just as we were preparing to leave Australia I thought I would try out a lace weave and my scalp itched so much it lasted just one week exactly. How ironic that even though I do realise that for someone who is not gifted in hair braiding (ie me) and struggles with just doing plain cornrows on my own hair, I still feel a lot happier, freer with my very African looking natural and sometimes short pressed hair....maybe because thats exactly what it is.
Indeed the very hairs on everyone's head are numbered and so whatever your style or texture, straight, coarse, curly, tightly kinked, permed or natural....embrace and love yours for each strand was purposely placed there and even when some of it falls off, the remaining strands are known to God. Wear it with pride....its a gift.
To all my friends from a diversity of backgrounds, what are your hair-stories in your history and present?
Happy hair days to you all....
Disclaimer: No responsibility will be taken by the author for any decisions taken to chop off chemically processed hair in order to resort to 'just juices and berries'. She will also not be held liable for any regrets arising from difficult to manage and stubborn knots and kinks (in the case of afro hair that refuses to co-operate)
Saturday 10 September 2011
'Healthy' divorce
One definition of divorce:separation and disunion of things closely united or the dissolution of marriage
For some people, divorce is absolutely necessary and maybe inevitable. It normally takes marriage to come to this realisation. Now, before you get into panic mode about the 'D' word, please hear me out.
Once upon a time for some men and women , they had dreams of one day finding the right (and might I add 'perfect') partner and being married happily ever after. They envisioned blissful evenings of romance perfectly cut out from heaven. Prince Charming would no doubt be the perfect gentleman who looked as though he had stepped right out of a storybook. Lady Dazzling would also be the ever picture perfect bride ,cooking in sky high stilettos everyday and looking just as beautiful in the morning as if she had just had a makeover for a photo shoot and her hair as if she had just been to the salon (which means she definitely wouldnt have natural afro hair!)
You see, when Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball, she's all dolled up and he falls in love with her. He decides to marry her and I've always wondered why he didnt gasp when he eventually found her , dressed in her raggedy looking clothes (well maybe he did) but still chose to marry her as she was. At midnight, Cinderella's ballgown and glamour disappear. She does not go to bed with her glass slippers or her crown from the ball. For some married and single people too, there is a need to divorce the 'pre midnight' spouses they have closely united themselves to so they can actually be married to the real person they said or will say 'I do' to. When you said "I do", was it to the flawless fairytale Prince Charming on a horse or to the not so perfect but real and loving person standing before you? If it was to the fairytale spouse and you are still married to them then you'll probably see your husband or wife as the 'frog' in your tale. Well, I've got some bad news and good news...your spouse is not the 'frog' and neither are you the 'frog' in their story....he or she is the real deal and so are you! (How you take that news will determine which bit is the good and which bit is the bad).
I know I love getting dolled up now and again but to be honest, the idea of cooking in stilettos makes me cringe. When I'm at home I do not like looking like Im dressed for a ball, for church or as if I've just come from an office job interview. I love comfortable and relaxed attire . Men, your Cinderella is still the same person even in her track pants ,comfy sweater and ponytail. Ladies, if he 'forgets' to open the door for you, needs to be 'reminded' to take out the trash everytime and looks nothing like Denzel in the mornings...he is still your groom, waiting to be loved and to shower you with love.
Divorce the fantasy people who never burp at all, hair never unruffled and always perfectly perfect all round. They get in the way of the real bride or groom you've been blessed with. Even when the clock strikes midnight...the loving should continue.
As you divorce these fantasy people, realise that the person you are with is not a misfit spoiling your fairytale marriage but is the real deal. May your marriages flourish and prosper. For those still looking to get married, may you find true love and say 'I do' to the real deal.
Love and blessings
For some people, divorce is absolutely necessary and maybe inevitable. It normally takes marriage to come to this realisation. Now, before you get into panic mode about the 'D' word, please hear me out.
Once upon a time for some men and women , they had dreams of one day finding the right (and might I add 'perfect') partner and being married happily ever after. They envisioned blissful evenings of romance perfectly cut out from heaven. Prince Charming would no doubt be the perfect gentleman who looked as though he had stepped right out of a storybook. Lady Dazzling would also be the ever picture perfect bride ,cooking in sky high stilettos everyday and looking just as beautiful in the morning as if she had just had a makeover for a photo shoot and her hair as if she had just been to the salon (which means she definitely wouldnt have natural afro hair!)
You see, when Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball, she's all dolled up and he falls in love with her. He decides to marry her and I've always wondered why he didnt gasp when he eventually found her , dressed in her raggedy looking clothes (well maybe he did) but still chose to marry her as she was. At midnight, Cinderella's ballgown and glamour disappear. She does not go to bed with her glass slippers or her crown from the ball. For some married and single people too, there is a need to divorce the 'pre midnight' spouses they have closely united themselves to so they can actually be married to the real person they said or will say 'I do' to. When you said "I do", was it to the flawless fairytale Prince Charming on a horse or to the not so perfect but real and loving person standing before you? If it was to the fairytale spouse and you are still married to them then you'll probably see your husband or wife as the 'frog' in your tale. Well, I've got some bad news and good news...your spouse is not the 'frog' and neither are you the 'frog' in their story....he or she is the real deal and so are you! (How you take that news will determine which bit is the good and which bit is the bad).
I know I love getting dolled up now and again but to be honest, the idea of cooking in stilettos makes me cringe. When I'm at home I do not like looking like Im dressed for a ball, for church or as if I've just come from an office job interview. I love comfortable and relaxed attire . Men, your Cinderella is still the same person even in her track pants ,comfy sweater and ponytail. Ladies, if he 'forgets' to open the door for you, needs to be 'reminded' to take out the trash everytime and looks nothing like Denzel in the mornings...he is still your groom, waiting to be loved and to shower you with love.
Divorce the fantasy people who never burp at all, hair never unruffled and always perfectly perfect all round. They get in the way of the real bride or groom you've been blessed with. Even when the clock strikes midnight...the loving should continue.
As you divorce these fantasy people, realise that the person you are with is not a misfit spoiling your fairytale marriage but is the real deal. May your marriages flourish and prosper. For those still looking to get married, may you find true love and say 'I do' to the real deal.
Love and blessings
Monday 29 August 2011
'Stuff'
Apparently moving house is rated as being one of the top stressors in life according to some researches.I do not know how accurate these researches are but if there is any morsel of truth in the findings then my journey would no doubt bust the stress-o-meter.In the last ten years I've lived in four countries,three continents,eight towns or suburbs(we wont even count the houses!) and still managed to find space somewhere within all that moving about to give birth twice. (Just in case you are wondering.....no, Im not an army wife).In a few days time I'll be embarking on yet another voyage which will see me transported thousands of miles to another country in a different continent.
Each move, I must admit, always comes along with its own sets of challenges. One of these involves trying to determine what to take , what to throw out, what to give away and what to sell. Inevitably ,as we settle and build homes there is a tendency to accumulate 'stuff'(some more than others!).In the past few weeks as we have been gearing ourselves for the move, we were faced with this challenge of deciding which categories to allocate the different items we had accumulated. It felt a bit like playing a kind of 'X-factor' with our belongings. At the beginning of this exercise there was quite a dilemma as almost everything seemed to be crying out to stay with us. Yes, the urge to hold on to things was so great....some of course were of sentimental value but it was quite surprising to me how unknowingly we can become so attached to stuff. Its almost as if the stuff possesses us and not vice versa. It is true that whenever you cannot let go of something, it has a hold over you.This realisation immediately made me change my stance and I began to mercilessly cull through the stuff. There are times when you will need to shed off what you have accumulated in order to make room for the life ahead of you. Similarly there will be times in life when you will need to let go of 'some stuff' within .....mindsets and attitudes that have served their purpose in one season of your life but will otherwise become excess baggage in the next phase of your journey (and if you have ever travelled by plane you will know how costly those extra kilograms over and above what you've been allocated can be.)What emotions have you packed into the suitcase of your life that really are now just adding unneccessary weight that will keep pulling you backwards?
Interestingly, once we had let go of the big items there was another realisation....its those small bits and bobs that are actually more cumbersome to work through (you know those containers of elastic bands, pins, lipsticks etcetera etcetera). These bits and bobs actually take up more time to sort through as opposed to the straight forward big items. What small things are eating up your space and calling for more attention than they are worth? I decided to just throw them all out instead of spending hours sorting through ten cent pins and lipsticks from years gone by. Even in relationships there are those 'little emotional containers' where all the unresolved bits and bobs go into for 'sorting out' later on (and all the men say 'amen')! Let them go, they will take up too much of your valuable time.
To be quite honest, these seasons of purging and decluttering because of the impending journeys have always been a real eye opener for me. As I write this, Im sitting in an almost empty house. The packers came in this morning, packed away and took with them what we decided to keep for freighting to our next destination.There is however a price to pay when taking stuff to a different country.In the same way, there is a price to pay when you hold on to emotional baggage. Some emotions are worth holding onto whilst others are just not worth it.Why would you pay four hundred dollars to freight a one dollar item?
How much do we actually need in terms of material possessions? With not much left in this house I do feel a certain kind of freedom. I love the fact that I've emptied my space and while standing in this gap between my current abode and the next season of my life I cant help but feel that the things that we cannot see can sometimes be more fulfilling than the 'things' or 'stuff' we surround ourselves with. I've felt the warmth and love of friends and family as we've been preparing to part. There have been a lot of priceless moments in the past weeks as we've shared simple meals of pizza, sausage sizzles , fish and chips ...while sitting on the floor and enjoying heartfelt laughter and just being together.In fact,a very dear friend on one occasion ,probably because she had seen the 'chaos' I was in while packing, invited us for leftovers and that meal of leftovers was absolutely divine! I wonder how often we've missed the opportunities to nourish others with a good meal because all we had for that day were leftovers? These precious moments are totally independent of what 'things' we have.
So, as I bid Australia goodbye for now, I can confidently say Im looking forward to what lies ahead for I know that The Lord who is with us has also already gone before us and I look forward to being filled with more of His love ,joy and happiness. I do not know what's in store but I trust Him who is taking us there.
May you blossom and be fruitful where you are planted.....
Love and blessings
Each move, I must admit, always comes along with its own sets of challenges. One of these involves trying to determine what to take , what to throw out, what to give away and what to sell. Inevitably ,as we settle and build homes there is a tendency to accumulate 'stuff'(some more than others!).In the past few weeks as we have been gearing ourselves for the move, we were faced with this challenge of deciding which categories to allocate the different items we had accumulated. It felt a bit like playing a kind of 'X-factor' with our belongings. At the beginning of this exercise there was quite a dilemma as almost everything seemed to be crying out to stay with us. Yes, the urge to hold on to things was so great....some of course were of sentimental value but it was quite surprising to me how unknowingly we can become so attached to stuff. Its almost as if the stuff possesses us and not vice versa. It is true that whenever you cannot let go of something, it has a hold over you.This realisation immediately made me change my stance and I began to mercilessly cull through the stuff. There are times when you will need to shed off what you have accumulated in order to make room for the life ahead of you. Similarly there will be times in life when you will need to let go of 'some stuff' within .....mindsets and attitudes that have served their purpose in one season of your life but will otherwise become excess baggage in the next phase of your journey (and if you have ever travelled by plane you will know how costly those extra kilograms over and above what you've been allocated can be.)What emotions have you packed into the suitcase of your life that really are now just adding unneccessary weight that will keep pulling you backwards?
Interestingly, once we had let go of the big items there was another realisation....its those small bits and bobs that are actually more cumbersome to work through (you know those containers of elastic bands, pins, lipsticks etcetera etcetera). These bits and bobs actually take up more time to sort through as opposed to the straight forward big items. What small things are eating up your space and calling for more attention than they are worth? I decided to just throw them all out instead of spending hours sorting through ten cent pins and lipsticks from years gone by. Even in relationships there are those 'little emotional containers' where all the unresolved bits and bobs go into for 'sorting out' later on (and all the men say 'amen')! Let them go, they will take up too much of your valuable time.
To be quite honest, these seasons of purging and decluttering because of the impending journeys have always been a real eye opener for me. As I write this, Im sitting in an almost empty house. The packers came in this morning, packed away and took with them what we decided to keep for freighting to our next destination.There is however a price to pay when taking stuff to a different country.In the same way, there is a price to pay when you hold on to emotional baggage. Some emotions are worth holding onto whilst others are just not worth it.Why would you pay four hundred dollars to freight a one dollar item?
How much do we actually need in terms of material possessions? With not much left in this house I do feel a certain kind of freedom. I love the fact that I've emptied my space and while standing in this gap between my current abode and the next season of my life I cant help but feel that the things that we cannot see can sometimes be more fulfilling than the 'things' or 'stuff' we surround ourselves with. I've felt the warmth and love of friends and family as we've been preparing to part. There have been a lot of priceless moments in the past weeks as we've shared simple meals of pizza, sausage sizzles , fish and chips ...while sitting on the floor and enjoying heartfelt laughter and just being together.In fact,a very dear friend on one occasion ,probably because she had seen the 'chaos' I was in while packing, invited us for leftovers and that meal of leftovers was absolutely divine! I wonder how often we've missed the opportunities to nourish others with a good meal because all we had for that day were leftovers? These precious moments are totally independent of what 'things' we have.
So, as I bid Australia goodbye for now, I can confidently say Im looking forward to what lies ahead for I know that The Lord who is with us has also already gone before us and I look forward to being filled with more of His love ,joy and happiness. I do not know what's in store but I trust Him who is taking us there.
May you blossom and be fruitful where you are planted.....
Love and blessings
Thursday 21 July 2011
More than a billion tremors
Ever watched a movie or read a book that left you in tears? One that pulled on your heartstrings and stirred your emotions. Or one that left you feeling inspired, challenged and motivated to do more with what you have been blessed with. I do read a lot and have a good fair movies that have had that effect on me but I will not list them here because this post really isn’t about scripted movies and novels. Books and films do take us into other worlds and these worlds do sometimes have the ability to inspire, sadden or draw on the compassionate side of our being.I will come back to the books and movies at a later stage but for now, allow me to rewind the years a bit to certain events in the not-so-distant past.
The month was December and the year was 2004. I had just had my first baby. I remember switching on the telly and being greeted with news that left me in tears and struggling to fully comprehend the magnitude of this particular catastrophe. A tsunami had mercilessly swept through Indonesia. The devastation and loss of human lives was unimaginable.
It is never possible to accurately predict the damage that an impending storm will leave behind before it actually hits. Over a year ago we watched in horror as a massive earthquake wrecked havoc and destruction of an unimaginable magnitude in Haiti. We watched as devastated and wounded people searched through the rubble for their loved ones, young and old. Most of us watched honestly kind of helplessly wondering how and what we could do to help or at least alleviate the suffering for the survivors of this tragedy. Would they have the backbone to cope with the pain and trauma of surviving such a blow from nature. A few days later,while the survivors were still trying to wake themselves up from what they were hoping was just a nightmare,there were aftershocks,as if to give them that pinch to let them know that they really were awake. More devastation followed upon the already wounded and weeping land.Yet again,the survivors wondered if they would make it through, given what they had endured and experienced in the first incident.Many lives were lost, many others wounded. It was as if there was an invisible hand strangling the life out of the precious souls of this land.
Since then there have been more natural disasters spread around the world :earthquakes,tsunamis,fires,cyclones and floods which have left their imprints on not just the land but on the physical, emotional, spiritual and financial spheres of people all across the globe. Because of the scale of damage from these natural disasters, they have grabbed the attention of the world and caused those even in the unaffected areas to stop and ponder on the fleeting nature of our earthly lives as well as arousing compassion...that stirring that comes naturally to a human being when confronted by or witnessing another go through turmoils of different kinds.
The truth is that there are less obvious ‘quakes’ that though hidden, still leave devastation and never quite grab the world’s attention. These tsunamis and quakes are of varying magnitudes. Quakes big enough to cause devastation of a great scale but not visible enough to bring news crews rushing in with the lights and cameras. Natural disasters come uninvited, as do some of these ‘disasters’.They are tremors that shake 'billions of worlds'...as many worlds as there are people on this earth.Sometimes they are so concealed, so secretive and yet so intense that they leave the victims wounded and dead within. Yes, it takes less than death to steal a life.In this world troubles will come. Without the grace and mercy of God people do crumble under the weight of these ‘tremors’.
In nursing, the pulse is used to check overall heart and health fitness levels physically. In view of the individual and personal quakes that are intense enough to be able to steal life and crush the spirit ,when was the last time you checked the ‘pulse’ of someone in your world and shined your light on them? Do you notice when someone is struggling to build endurance or when they are engulfed by the waters of inward tsunamis but with no news crews waiting by to highlight their plight? Do you feel stirred when you see someone who is overcome by the feeling of standing on sinking sand? Or is all this obscured by the veil of busyness? Are you too ‘busy’ to the point that you are too deaf to the cries of loneliness and blind to the needs around you. The people around you matter. If some of their life stories were to be replayed on the big screen, you would probably reach out for the Kleenex or give them a standing ovation. Only a handful of stories make it to the movies out of the billions of real life scripts that are being penned everyday.
Take time to check on the pulse of those around you.Do they still have a healthy heartbeat in their soul or are they silently dying inside while wearing a smile in an attempt to mask the death within? Are you awake and aware of those around you, the people that you have been blessed with on the journey of life? Make yourself available to encourage, strengthen and cheer others on without judgement. Allow people to be comfortable enough to expose themselves without the fear of you exposing them but protecting and praying for them instead. Be sensitive and discerning enough to notice the ‘tremors’ in their worlds and see beyond the facades.
Do away with unproductive 'busyness' and stay away from sterilized philosophies that have 'zero' heart in them.If a movie or a book can make you cry, if news of human tragedies all over the world can make you stop, ponder and feel for those affected, then you do have a heart. Take time to read the pages being written by the people around you and listen to their stories. If you feel hardened,pray for compassion and tenderness because someone within your sphere of influence needs you give them a standing ovation or encourage them. There are more than a billion tremors in the world and each person can do something, however little to strengthen and build others up.
Today take time to say a prayer for someone you know is in need of raindrops from heaven.
Love and blessings to you all
The month was December and the year was 2004. I had just had my first baby. I remember switching on the telly and being greeted with news that left me in tears and struggling to fully comprehend the magnitude of this particular catastrophe. A tsunami had mercilessly swept through Indonesia. The devastation and loss of human lives was unimaginable.
It is never possible to accurately predict the damage that an impending storm will leave behind before it actually hits. Over a year ago we watched in horror as a massive earthquake wrecked havoc and destruction of an unimaginable magnitude in Haiti. We watched as devastated and wounded people searched through the rubble for their loved ones, young and old. Most of us watched honestly kind of helplessly wondering how and what we could do to help or at least alleviate the suffering for the survivors of this tragedy. Would they have the backbone to cope with the pain and trauma of surviving such a blow from nature. A few days later,while the survivors were still trying to wake themselves up from what they were hoping was just a nightmare,there were aftershocks,as if to give them that pinch to let them know that they really were awake. More devastation followed upon the already wounded and weeping land.Yet again,the survivors wondered if they would make it through, given what they had endured and experienced in the first incident.Many lives were lost, many others wounded. It was as if there was an invisible hand strangling the life out of the precious souls of this land.
Since then there have been more natural disasters spread around the world :earthquakes,tsunamis,fires,cyclones and floods which have left their imprints on not just the land but on the physical, emotional, spiritual and financial spheres of people all across the globe. Because of the scale of damage from these natural disasters, they have grabbed the attention of the world and caused those even in the unaffected areas to stop and ponder on the fleeting nature of our earthly lives as well as arousing compassion...that stirring that comes naturally to a human being when confronted by or witnessing another go through turmoils of different kinds.
The truth is that there are less obvious ‘quakes’ that though hidden, still leave devastation and never quite grab the world’s attention. These tsunamis and quakes are of varying magnitudes. Quakes big enough to cause devastation of a great scale but not visible enough to bring news crews rushing in with the lights and cameras. Natural disasters come uninvited, as do some of these ‘disasters’.They are tremors that shake 'billions of worlds'...as many worlds as there are people on this earth.Sometimes they are so concealed, so secretive and yet so intense that they leave the victims wounded and dead within. Yes, it takes less than death to steal a life.In this world troubles will come. Without the grace and mercy of God people do crumble under the weight of these ‘tremors’.
In nursing, the pulse is used to check overall heart and health fitness levels physically. In view of the individual and personal quakes that are intense enough to be able to steal life and crush the spirit ,when was the last time you checked the ‘pulse’ of someone in your world and shined your light on them? Do you notice when someone is struggling to build endurance or when they are engulfed by the waters of inward tsunamis but with no news crews waiting by to highlight their plight? Do you feel stirred when you see someone who is overcome by the feeling of standing on sinking sand? Or is all this obscured by the veil of busyness? Are you too ‘busy’ to the point that you are too deaf to the cries of loneliness and blind to the needs around you. The people around you matter. If some of their life stories were to be replayed on the big screen, you would probably reach out for the Kleenex or give them a standing ovation. Only a handful of stories make it to the movies out of the billions of real life scripts that are being penned everyday.
Take time to check on the pulse of those around you.Do they still have a healthy heartbeat in their soul or are they silently dying inside while wearing a smile in an attempt to mask the death within? Are you awake and aware of those around you, the people that you have been blessed with on the journey of life? Make yourself available to encourage, strengthen and cheer others on without judgement. Allow people to be comfortable enough to expose themselves without the fear of you exposing them but protecting and praying for them instead. Be sensitive and discerning enough to notice the ‘tremors’ in their worlds and see beyond the facades.
Do away with unproductive 'busyness' and stay away from sterilized philosophies that have 'zero' heart in them.If a movie or a book can make you cry, if news of human tragedies all over the world can make you stop, ponder and feel for those affected, then you do have a heart. Take time to read the pages being written by the people around you and listen to their stories. If you feel hardened,pray for compassion and tenderness because someone within your sphere of influence needs you give them a standing ovation or encourage them. There are more than a billion tremors in the world and each person can do something, however little to strengthen and build others up.
Today take time to say a prayer for someone you know is in need of raindrops from heaven.
Love and blessings to you all
Friday 1 July 2011
Rocking The Cradle
Giving birth is painful (thank you Eve!). However, there is something magical about the arrival of a new-born baby. When I had my babies, each delivery left me with a myriad of positive emotions, emotions that I can only describe as torrential waves of a pure and intense kind of love which flooded my entire heart and my whole being. Instinctively, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I loved these little bundles-of-joy so much that I would be willing to do whatever it took to for me to nurture them into their full potential. These emotions, so strong and so tangible often left me thinking of my own mother and realising that I, too, at one point, was a newborn baby in the hands of my mother. For most women, giving birth will often kindle or rekindle an appreciation of their mums through new eyes. In fact, everyone you see, from the wealthiest to the poorest, from the biggest to the tiniest started out in this world as a baby.
Babies give their love unconditionally. Their love is pure, their innocence is untainted and they carry a freshness and a purity. Babies do not know or care if you are wealthy or poor. They have no perception of poverty or wealth and therefore respond from a position of clarity, innocence and love. They do not worry about how they look or how the grown-ups around them look. They love and just want to be loved. It’s no wonder that when people come into the presence of newborns they ‘ooooo’ and ‘aaaaaa’ at this new creation. But alas, they do not stay as babies. They grow and it takes a lot of wisdom, patience and grace to raise these little babies and nurture the gifts within them so they can flourish into responsible and successful God fearing adults.
From as far back as I can remember I always adored babies and would find myself pondering on the mysteriousness of how these little adorable bundles came into being. In fact the earliest memory I have is of my little brother's birth. I was only three years old when mum and dad brought him home and I remember being so smitten by his tiny little fingers and everything about him. That was me back then and I should say I still have not outgrown my love for babies and children. I have my own children now and I’m thankful for the wealth and abundance of information and resources available to us to aide us in our parenting.
As our society continues to evolve and grow, more and more options for self development and progression have become available to most people. As the choices broaden, so too do the debates and arguments as to whether or not each person is doing the right thing or making the right choice. Mothering is no exception and more often than not I meet women who are burdened with fear, guilt and worry because they do not know whether they are making the right decision in as far as raising their children is concerned. Is there a ‘one size fits all’ method of being a ‘good’ mother? How do we fulfil and honour that initial desire that we had when we held our babies for the first time, that desire to do our best to raise happy and responsible kids?
In my journey the ‘one size fits all’ method that I do know about is Scripture. You see, all Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting, training and protecting as well as equipping us and our children for every good work in this fascinating journey of life and all that comes with it. . As mothers (and fathers), we have the great honour and privilege of providing input, management and direction into this new being’s brand new start! When we get a revelation of what an opportunity it is to share in these divine moments and opportunities and when we realise the enormity of the responsibility we carry, parenting becomes such an honour, a joy and a privilege.
In recent times, I have known many a mother (and father) who either carries or is driven by the “guilt” of not being able to spend “enough” time with their children. Focusing a little on the mothers for now, the decision to either be a working mum or to “live off one salary” and be a stay-at-home mum features highly in the lives of many mothers as it is sometimes almost viewed as a choice between your children and your vocation. There is no shortage of debates and research on this matter but the question still remains - Is there an umbrella or universal formula that should work for all mothers? I do not think there could ever be one magical universal formula or approach just as there cannot be a universal personality for all mankind.
Some women are wired naturally as “traditional” nurturers who find purpose and fulfilment in having and nurturing children – the future of mankind. They find joy and happiness in this role and will often feel enhanced by executing the role to the very best of their God-given ability. Nowadays, the traditional nurturing mothers are not necessarily correctly portrayed and at times are demeaned as being frumpy-looking, unkempt, ignorant, uneducated and severely overweight women with old over-starched Mother’s Day aprons secured and locked around their waists. In my travels, I have had the great pleasure of meeting numerous very intelligent, highly educated and professionally qualified, compassionate, socially aware women who have made the decision to be in this category and to follow this path more because it is their passion rather than because it is the natural or “expected” thing for them to do.
On the other hand, there are those mothers who deeply love their children but who are also very driven and enhanced by activities outside the mothering and home arena. In some cases, these women will feel claustrophobic, emotionally strained and suffocated if not given the space and opportunities to fulfil their hearts’ desire: which is to see the talent and abilities that they carry outside of the home fulfilled. Then of course there are those women who are able to combine both worlds with relative ease and finesse…maybe and just maybe… sometimes with a tinge of guilt but generally they feel fulfilled in what they do and how they live..
And so we are back again to the beginning: is there a ‘right way’ of being a mother when it comes to lifestyle choices? The ‘right way’ for each mother should be determined by what feels right for her and her family in whatever season of their lives that they find themselves. This one thing I do know though – that without this one specific universal ingredient, no method will succeed…ever – and that is the ingredient of love. As I shared before, whatever your faith, pray for your little ones, love them and whether you are a stay-at-home mum, businesswoman, career woman with a family to raise or whatever else you may be involved in, remember that God will furnish you thoroughly to fulfil all the good works you have been commissioned to do…only ask. Do the very best that you can, with what you have and without comparing yourself with anyone else. Rather, encourage and cheer others on as we all continue on this great journey together.
Till next time…
Babies give their love unconditionally. Their love is pure, their innocence is untainted and they carry a freshness and a purity. Babies do not know or care if you are wealthy or poor. They have no perception of poverty or wealth and therefore respond from a position of clarity, innocence and love. They do not worry about how they look or how the grown-ups around them look. They love and just want to be loved. It’s no wonder that when people come into the presence of newborns they ‘ooooo’ and ‘aaaaaa’ at this new creation. But alas, they do not stay as babies. They grow and it takes a lot of wisdom, patience and grace to raise these little babies and nurture the gifts within them so they can flourish into responsible and successful God fearing adults.
From as far back as I can remember I always adored babies and would find myself pondering on the mysteriousness of how these little adorable bundles came into being. In fact the earliest memory I have is of my little brother's birth. I was only three years old when mum and dad brought him home and I remember being so smitten by his tiny little fingers and everything about him. That was me back then and I should say I still have not outgrown my love for babies and children. I have my own children now and I’m thankful for the wealth and abundance of information and resources available to us to aide us in our parenting.
As our society continues to evolve and grow, more and more options for self development and progression have become available to most people. As the choices broaden, so too do the debates and arguments as to whether or not each person is doing the right thing or making the right choice. Mothering is no exception and more often than not I meet women who are burdened with fear, guilt and worry because they do not know whether they are making the right decision in as far as raising their children is concerned. Is there a ‘one size fits all’ method of being a ‘good’ mother? How do we fulfil and honour that initial desire that we had when we held our babies for the first time, that desire to do our best to raise happy and responsible kids?
In my journey the ‘one size fits all’ method that I do know about is Scripture. You see, all Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, correcting, training and protecting as well as equipping us and our children for every good work in this fascinating journey of life and all that comes with it. . As mothers (and fathers), we have the great honour and privilege of providing input, management and direction into this new being’s brand new start! When we get a revelation of what an opportunity it is to share in these divine moments and opportunities and when we realise the enormity of the responsibility we carry, parenting becomes such an honour, a joy and a privilege.
In recent times, I have known many a mother (and father) who either carries or is driven by the “guilt” of not being able to spend “enough” time with their children. Focusing a little on the mothers for now, the decision to either be a working mum or to “live off one salary” and be a stay-at-home mum features highly in the lives of many mothers as it is sometimes almost viewed as a choice between your children and your vocation. There is no shortage of debates and research on this matter but the question still remains - Is there an umbrella or universal formula that should work for all mothers? I do not think there could ever be one magical universal formula or approach just as there cannot be a universal personality for all mankind.
Some women are wired naturally as “traditional” nurturers who find purpose and fulfilment in having and nurturing children – the future of mankind. They find joy and happiness in this role and will often feel enhanced by executing the role to the very best of their God-given ability. Nowadays, the traditional nurturing mothers are not necessarily correctly portrayed and at times are demeaned as being frumpy-looking, unkempt, ignorant, uneducated and severely overweight women with old over-starched Mother’s Day aprons secured and locked around their waists. In my travels, I have had the great pleasure of meeting numerous very intelligent, highly educated and professionally qualified, compassionate, socially aware women who have made the decision to be in this category and to follow this path more because it is their passion rather than because it is the natural or “expected” thing for them to do.
On the other hand, there are those mothers who deeply love their children but who are also very driven and enhanced by activities outside the mothering and home arena. In some cases, these women will feel claustrophobic, emotionally strained and suffocated if not given the space and opportunities to fulfil their hearts’ desire: which is to see the talent and abilities that they carry outside of the home fulfilled. Then of course there are those women who are able to combine both worlds with relative ease and finesse…maybe and just maybe… sometimes with a tinge of guilt but generally they feel fulfilled in what they do and how they live..
And so we are back again to the beginning: is there a ‘right way’ of being a mother when it comes to lifestyle choices? The ‘right way’ for each mother should be determined by what feels right for her and her family in whatever season of their lives that they find themselves. This one thing I do know though – that without this one specific universal ingredient, no method will succeed…ever – and that is the ingredient of love. As I shared before, whatever your faith, pray for your little ones, love them and whether you are a stay-at-home mum, businesswoman, career woman with a family to raise or whatever else you may be involved in, remember that God will furnish you thoroughly to fulfil all the good works you have been commissioned to do…only ask. Do the very best that you can, with what you have and without comparing yourself with anyone else. Rather, encourage and cheer others on as we all continue on this great journey together.
Till next time…
Friday 24 June 2011
The Buzz
Growing up, social etiquette lessons were a major part of my everyday life. Some behaviour was just plainly not acceptable and you had to learn until you knew right from wrong and until that ‘knowing’ became almost like second nature. You could liken it to walking. Do you remember being taught to walk? Do you still think about which foot to put in front of the other and how to lift it when you walk? If you’ve ever seen a baby learning to walk (and I take it that if you are old enough to read this then at some point you would have witnessed some of these ‘walking lessons’) then you would know that we all have been taught to walk but because we have mastered it we do not have to consciously think about it now. Some of these unacceptable breaches of social etiquette that, unlike walking, I remember being taught about and ended up ‘mastering’ them included: not peeping into people’s houses, not pointing a finger at someone, not gossiping or entertaining gossip and the list goes on. One of the dictionary definitions of gossip is, ‘idle talk or rumour about others’ private lives’.
Now imagine being in a world where you could walk around poking at people and occasionally being poked at too, a world where you could literally peep into people’s lives without being told off for it and where you could hang out with the gossip lady of the century. You see, this gossip lady would be able to keep you entertained and ‘filled-in’ for days on end. She could tell you who’s married to who; who’s engaged to who; who just had a baby; who’s still single or just got single again; you could eavesdrop on conversations without being incriminated for it(and never mind mum’s advice not to eavesdrop on the conversation of others lest the gossip is about you and you’d be better off not hearing it).This gossip lady would also regularly recommend people that you might possibly want to befriend with the option of ‘unfriending’ them later on if you so wished. As with all gossips, this gossip lady would be well known for being unable to keep secrets and therefore would not make a good confidante. Oddly enough on a daily basis she would have people ‘confiding publicly’ in her and telling her things they probably would never be able to say to anyone else. But of course she never keeps juicy bits of information to herself. She could be likened to a blabbermouth who never gets tired of receiving and dishing out information as it comes. In this world ,in addition to listening to people venting out publicly, you would also be free to throw a tantrum too if you so wished….even grown ups would have this privilege that is somewhat akin to a toddler venting out at the shopping mall in the presence of hundreds of onlookers. Imagine no longer, for this world does exist!
Welcome to the world of social networking. Like anything else in life, social networking sites can be a good tool for just that…..social networking! They are great tools when used for connecting loved ones far and wide but they do not make for good masters. With the emergence of the smart phones, most people who do make use of these sites and are logged in on-the-go, will carry this buzzing world that is always laden with ‘top news’ or ‘breaking news’ type stories, in their pockets and occasionally be glancing or checking in and out to see who’s doing what, who’s saying what and what new notifications are there. Any bit of news you put out into it will circle your network at an impressive speed. And oh yes, you can get poked or ‘super poked’ (ouch) by strangers and friends and you can poke them back too if you so wish.
One has to wonder though, are we really designed with the capacity to meaningfully engage with hundreds (for some) of people at any one given season of life on a one to one and regular basis while at the same time continuing to nurture the ‘non-cyber’ relationships we have ? Where is the line marked for healthy cyber social networking?
I am not against this relatively new (well, for some anyway) phenomena….as evidenced by the fact that you will find me on Facebook. However, when you find yourself flourishing more in your cyber life than in your normal day to day life, then you do need to stop and evaluate. If you have hundreds of cyber friends that you don’t meet with for a catch up now and again in the real world, prefer being on these sites to chatting with the other people in your world and you cannot go for a good while without checking into your account or find yourself reaching out for your phone first thing when your eyes open in the morning and last thing before you close them at night then you do need to rethink your priorities and be honest with yourself...are you addicted to these sites?
While a lot of the things that break the code of acceptable conduct in real life may be permissible in this world, remember that not all things are beneficial. Value your time and use it wisely. These sites are great business tools ,make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family, help to reconnect you with old friends as well as making it possible to plan small events but they make lousy masters. Its not life threatening to be unaware or out of touch with the latest news on who’s said what, who likes something, who’s going where and all the bits of news that you gather there. Used in moderation, they are great but once you abuse or misuse them; even the greatest inventions can become threats that rob you of your valuable asset of time. So next time you are tempted to spend hours'peeping' through your friends' 'windows' on facebook because mum's not there to pinch your ear or tell you off for being idle,remind yourself of the value of your time. What fraction of your time do you allocate to cyber networking and are you using it to nurture and develop meaningful relationships with your loved ones while still functioning at your full capacity in your world?
What are your thoughts?
Sending some love your way
Now imagine being in a world where you could walk around poking at people and occasionally being poked at too, a world where you could literally peep into people’s lives without being told off for it and where you could hang out with the gossip lady of the century. You see, this gossip lady would be able to keep you entertained and ‘filled-in’ for days on end. She could tell you who’s married to who; who’s engaged to who; who just had a baby; who’s still single or just got single again; you could eavesdrop on conversations without being incriminated for it(and never mind mum’s advice not to eavesdrop on the conversation of others lest the gossip is about you and you’d be better off not hearing it).This gossip lady would also regularly recommend people that you might possibly want to befriend with the option of ‘unfriending’ them later on if you so wished. As with all gossips, this gossip lady would be well known for being unable to keep secrets and therefore would not make a good confidante. Oddly enough on a daily basis she would have people ‘confiding publicly’ in her and telling her things they probably would never be able to say to anyone else. But of course she never keeps juicy bits of information to herself. She could be likened to a blabbermouth who never gets tired of receiving and dishing out information as it comes. In this world ,in addition to listening to people venting out publicly, you would also be free to throw a tantrum too if you so wished….even grown ups would have this privilege that is somewhat akin to a toddler venting out at the shopping mall in the presence of hundreds of onlookers. Imagine no longer, for this world does exist!
Welcome to the world of social networking. Like anything else in life, social networking sites can be a good tool for just that…..social networking! They are great tools when used for connecting loved ones far and wide but they do not make for good masters. With the emergence of the smart phones, most people who do make use of these sites and are logged in on-the-go, will carry this buzzing world that is always laden with ‘top news’ or ‘breaking news’ type stories, in their pockets and occasionally be glancing or checking in and out to see who’s doing what, who’s saying what and what new notifications are there. Any bit of news you put out into it will circle your network at an impressive speed. And oh yes, you can get poked or ‘super poked’ (ouch) by strangers and friends and you can poke them back too if you so wish.
One has to wonder though, are we really designed with the capacity to meaningfully engage with hundreds (for some) of people at any one given season of life on a one to one and regular basis while at the same time continuing to nurture the ‘non-cyber’ relationships we have ? Where is the line marked for healthy cyber social networking?
I am not against this relatively new (well, for some anyway) phenomena….as evidenced by the fact that you will find me on Facebook. However, when you find yourself flourishing more in your cyber life than in your normal day to day life, then you do need to stop and evaluate. If you have hundreds of cyber friends that you don’t meet with for a catch up now and again in the real world, prefer being on these sites to chatting with the other people in your world and you cannot go for a good while without checking into your account or find yourself reaching out for your phone first thing when your eyes open in the morning and last thing before you close them at night then you do need to rethink your priorities and be honest with yourself...are you addicted to these sites?
While a lot of the things that break the code of acceptable conduct in real life may be permissible in this world, remember that not all things are beneficial. Value your time and use it wisely. These sites are great business tools ,make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family, help to reconnect you with old friends as well as making it possible to plan small events but they make lousy masters. Its not life threatening to be unaware or out of touch with the latest news on who’s said what, who likes something, who’s going where and all the bits of news that you gather there. Used in moderation, they are great but once you abuse or misuse them; even the greatest inventions can become threats that rob you of your valuable asset of time. So next time you are tempted to spend hours'peeping' through your friends' 'windows' on facebook because mum's not there to pinch your ear or tell you off for being idle,remind yourself of the value of your time. What fraction of your time do you allocate to cyber networking and are you using it to nurture and develop meaningful relationships with your loved ones while still functioning at your full capacity in your world?
What are your thoughts?
Sending some love your way
Monday 20 June 2011
Penny Wise
Ever found yourself in a season in which you had to literally turn each dollar twice before spending it? Trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents? A season of financial stretching in which you really had to “cut your cloth according to your measure”
Seasons like these are the norm rather than the exception for the most people around the world nowadays as living costs continue to soar in the face of limping economies which just cannot seem to gather any pace, insatiable natural disasters as well as wars and rumours of wars.
With the benefit of bit of hindsight, my fair share of mistakes and victories, I thought I’d share some hints and tips that have seen me through many “penny wise” moments. One of the key lessons that I have learnt in this area has been that it is vital to take ownership of our most valuable resource – time – the only currency that each of us has to spend which is absolutely irreplaceable. Combined with our expertise, a good set of skills and most importantly wisdom, our currency of time is a formidable weapon in our quest for victory over penny wise situations.
Most of us will have a good idea on how much our total household income amounts to either weekly, monthly or annually – but without a budget, it will be almost impossible to track where it goes. So to start with I would suggest tracking where your hard-earned income is ending up by preparing a budget. This will help you to have an idea of what to trim off and where to make changes. Don’t be afraid or intimidated by the idea of a budget. It’s not a form of imprisonment but rather, it will help you to monitor your expenses in relation to your income. Your budget is your friend. Take time to plan it carefully and be disciplined enough to stick to it so that you spend less than what you earn.
In addition to preparing a budget, do shop smartly. Depending on where you live in the world, smart shopping can save you lots. Get loyalty cards if the shops you get your groceries from have them. If you already are going to buy anyway, then you might as well enjoy the rewards that come with the accumulation of loyalty points. Just don’t get tempted to make unnecessary purchase s in the hope of accumulating points. They will add up eventually and you can redeem them for a shopping voucher or whatever else they offer once you have earned enough points. In some countries, coupons are widely and easily available…use them! If you struggle with impulse buying then try the online shopping facility which most shops have. Ever gone into a shop to pick up just a handful of items, taken a basket and after a few minutes up and down the aisles you find yourself heading to the door to get a trolley because there are too many ‘specials’? An hour later you emerge with a trolley and a bill more than you had planned for initially. One way to avoid this dilemma is to only carry and use cash.
Yes, carrying the specific amount you need to use will instantly curb the ability to impulse buy although not the desire. Unfortunately even if the desire is there,it cannot be satisfied because you cant spend what you don’t have. Carrying cash means you do get to think about each purchase. Sometimes using bank cards doesn’t feel like you are using ‘real’ money until the statement comes then you realise that the figures indicate ‘real’ money alright. With cash, once you’ve spent it all, you see that its finished but with some cards, once its finished it begins to dig into some other ‘source’ that allows you to go deeper under the ‘empty’ level and leave you in debt and owing the bank.
Don’t buy something just because it’s on sale. Even if it’s on sale, ask yourself if you really need it. Buying something just because its on sale and then not using it is like literally throwing out the money. Make the most of your local markets for fresh produce. Buy fresh fruit and vegetables in season and clothes out of season. This does save you heaps especially if you have young kids! At the end of each season most shops will have massive sales where you can save more than seventy five percent depending on where you live. This is a good time to buy clothes for the next year and for my children I normally just buy a size up so that they can use these the following year.
In addition to being much cheaper, buying fresh food in season will ensure that you get optimum nutrition at a good price. Fruit always tastes better too when it’s in season. I also believe that each place bears certain fruit in particular seasons because the nutrients in those fruits are what our bodies need for optimum health during that season and help to prepare for the next season.
If you have gym membership that you got as one of your new year’s resolutions and you pay monthly but still have it on your ‘to visit list’ then you are better off cancelling your membership and making use of the free local sporting facilities. Some schools will allow you to use their tennis courts for free and you could turn this into a great and fun way to exercise as a family if you have one. A soccer ball can work wonders for your fitness if you make use of local parks. There are basketball courts too and jogging is another great form of exercise….just be sure to get proper running shoes!
So, overall, keep a tab on how much you spend in relation to your earnings. Live within your means and cut your cloth according to the measure you have. If you are already in financial doldrums, keep calm; get financially literate by investing in good books on the subject of ‘money’ and take up the challenge until you get to the shores of financial freedom.
Till next time…thanks for stopping by
Seasons like these are the norm rather than the exception for the most people around the world nowadays as living costs continue to soar in the face of limping economies which just cannot seem to gather any pace, insatiable natural disasters as well as wars and rumours of wars.
With the benefit of bit of hindsight, my fair share of mistakes and victories, I thought I’d share some hints and tips that have seen me through many “penny wise” moments. One of the key lessons that I have learnt in this area has been that it is vital to take ownership of our most valuable resource – time – the only currency that each of us has to spend which is absolutely irreplaceable. Combined with our expertise, a good set of skills and most importantly wisdom, our currency of time is a formidable weapon in our quest for victory over penny wise situations.
Most of us will have a good idea on how much our total household income amounts to either weekly, monthly or annually – but without a budget, it will be almost impossible to track where it goes. So to start with I would suggest tracking where your hard-earned income is ending up by preparing a budget. This will help you to have an idea of what to trim off and where to make changes. Don’t be afraid or intimidated by the idea of a budget. It’s not a form of imprisonment but rather, it will help you to monitor your expenses in relation to your income. Your budget is your friend. Take time to plan it carefully and be disciplined enough to stick to it so that you spend less than what you earn.
In addition to preparing a budget, do shop smartly. Depending on where you live in the world, smart shopping can save you lots. Get loyalty cards if the shops you get your groceries from have them. If you already are going to buy anyway, then you might as well enjoy the rewards that come with the accumulation of loyalty points. Just don’t get tempted to make unnecessary purchase s in the hope of accumulating points. They will add up eventually and you can redeem them for a shopping voucher or whatever else they offer once you have earned enough points. In some countries, coupons are widely and easily available…use them! If you struggle with impulse buying then try the online shopping facility which most shops have. Ever gone into a shop to pick up just a handful of items, taken a basket and after a few minutes up and down the aisles you find yourself heading to the door to get a trolley because there are too many ‘specials’? An hour later you emerge with a trolley and a bill more than you had planned for initially. One way to avoid this dilemma is to only carry and use cash.
Yes, carrying the specific amount you need to use will instantly curb the ability to impulse buy although not the desire. Unfortunately even if the desire is there,it cannot be satisfied because you cant spend what you don’t have. Carrying cash means you do get to think about each purchase. Sometimes using bank cards doesn’t feel like you are using ‘real’ money until the statement comes then you realise that the figures indicate ‘real’ money alright. With cash, once you’ve spent it all, you see that its finished but with some cards, once its finished it begins to dig into some other ‘source’ that allows you to go deeper under the ‘empty’ level and leave you in debt and owing the bank.
Don’t buy something just because it’s on sale. Even if it’s on sale, ask yourself if you really need it. Buying something just because its on sale and then not using it is like literally throwing out the money. Make the most of your local markets for fresh produce. Buy fresh fruit and vegetables in season and clothes out of season. This does save you heaps especially if you have young kids! At the end of each season most shops will have massive sales where you can save more than seventy five percent depending on where you live. This is a good time to buy clothes for the next year and for my children I normally just buy a size up so that they can use these the following year.
In addition to being much cheaper, buying fresh food in season will ensure that you get optimum nutrition at a good price. Fruit always tastes better too when it’s in season. I also believe that each place bears certain fruit in particular seasons because the nutrients in those fruits are what our bodies need for optimum health during that season and help to prepare for the next season.
If you have gym membership that you got as one of your new year’s resolutions and you pay monthly but still have it on your ‘to visit list’ then you are better off cancelling your membership and making use of the free local sporting facilities. Some schools will allow you to use their tennis courts for free and you could turn this into a great and fun way to exercise as a family if you have one. A soccer ball can work wonders for your fitness if you make use of local parks. There are basketball courts too and jogging is another great form of exercise….just be sure to get proper running shoes!
So, overall, keep a tab on how much you spend in relation to your earnings. Live within your means and cut your cloth according to the measure you have. If you are already in financial doldrums, keep calm; get financially literate by investing in good books on the subject of ‘money’ and take up the challenge until you get to the shores of financial freedom.
Till next time…thanks for stopping by
Friday 17 June 2011
'Garden boys' and 'House girls'
If you have at one stage or another lived in Africa then you are most likely to have come across either a 'garden boy' and a 'house girl' or both. These are not the most endearing of terms and are not age determined either, but more a description of function or role. In a recent phone conversation, my cousin relayed her dilemma to me : She had gone without her 'house girl' for a whole week. This left her struggling to cope as she had to juggle the mundane day-to-day tasks. Her "situation" got me thinking.
Why are these grown men and women still referred to as 'girls' and 'boys'? It is not uncommon in Africa to find either of these terms being used in reference to men and women well into their sixties. While this may not be a picture or story unique to parts of Africa, for the sake of those who have no comprehension of what I'm going on about, I'll briefly outline the role descriptions that you are more than likely to find being associated with the either of the above terms.
And so in short, a house girl is ,'a maid or housekeeper' and a garden boy is essentially 'a gardener' whose broad list of responsibility spans from tending the garden to a host of other bits and bobs that veer far from the gardening and landscaping domain and encroach into territories that include but are not limited to: washing the car, running errands, repairing kids bicycles and a whole host of other handy-man-type responsibilities.
Maybe the terms are a depiction of the domain or territory in which they each bring their primary expertise.
In the case of the house girl, her domain is the house (inside that is) or rather the home as more often than not she is also be expected to help rear the children, mind and love the pets plus all and sundry that makes a house a home.
Levels of responsibility and privilege each brings to their role will vary widely across homes. Generally, the rule of thumb in surbubia Africa (at least in the part of Africa I was raised), is that the suburban home should be maintained at mile-high standards of utmost cleanliness and guess who the undisputed winner of that wonderful responsibility is? Great work! Yes - the maid.
The general notion is that the work commanded by these jobs cannot be hard work since it requires no tertiary training of any sort. After all, its just about keeping a house neat and tidy , organizing meals, tending to the kids, doing the laundry and making sure everything is where it should be - clothes clean, pressed and neatly packed away into clean and fresh smelling wardrobes; floors are swept,scrubbed ,mopped and polished to a shine; carpets are shampooed every so often but cleaned (using a hand brush in most cases) daily. Windows are cleaned periodically and if meal planning and cooking are part of the package then she has to also do this.
'Wow!',you gasp, 'they must be raking in the money!'. Well, not really. You see, its worthwhile noting that both of the jobs under discussion here are by no means esteemed - far from it! These jobs are considered menial, for the uneducated and those with few other options such as the 'poor' who are the uncontested "majority shareholders" of the lowest economic stratum of society.
For those employers' of house girls and garden boys as well as the casual observers who at some point venture outside of Africa they do receive an 'awakening' of sorts as they find out that the services rendered to them by their former employees do not come cheap. There are no house girls and no garden boys in the western world. Instead there are 'Landscape Artists', 'housekeepers' and 'butlers' who are very adequately remunerated for the hours that they put in.
Oprah would call it a kind of 'Aha' moment. Only then do people realise that it certainly does take skill, organisational management and dedication to run a home smoothly. It takes patience and dedication to keep the house in a somewhat 'okay' condition and still have time for personal grooming and just plain heartfelt laughter.
Juggling work, school, chores, family and a healthy social life without an extra pair of hands takes more than just dedication and self discipline. Trying to juggle too many balls without the skill will only result in some of them falling. It's only through God's grace, grace and more grace that one can get the strength and ability to juggle all these responsibilities.
So, if you do have wonderful helping hands around your home, do take time to thank them ,to thank God and if you are able, do surprise them with an unexpected bonus. Here's to the men and women who lend their hands and time to making the lives of thousands of people comfortable even if it is for very little financial reward and little or next-to-no self development in some cases. It takes heart, skill and love to do what they do.
Till next time...
Why are these grown men and women still referred to as 'girls' and 'boys'? It is not uncommon in Africa to find either of these terms being used in reference to men and women well into their sixties. While this may not be a picture or story unique to parts of Africa, for the sake of those who have no comprehension of what I'm going on about, I'll briefly outline the role descriptions that you are more than likely to find being associated with the either of the above terms.
And so in short, a house girl is ,'a maid or housekeeper' and a garden boy is essentially 'a gardener' whose broad list of responsibility spans from tending the garden to a host of other bits and bobs that veer far from the gardening and landscaping domain and encroach into territories that include but are not limited to: washing the car, running errands, repairing kids bicycles and a whole host of other handy-man-type responsibilities.
Maybe the terms are a depiction of the domain or territory in which they each bring their primary expertise.
In the case of the house girl, her domain is the house (inside that is) or rather the home as more often than not she is also be expected to help rear the children, mind and love the pets plus all and sundry that makes a house a home.
Levels of responsibility and privilege each brings to their role will vary widely across homes. Generally, the rule of thumb in surbubia Africa (at least in the part of Africa I was raised), is that the suburban home should be maintained at mile-high standards of utmost cleanliness and guess who the undisputed winner of that wonderful responsibility is? Great work! Yes - the maid.
The general notion is that the work commanded by these jobs cannot be hard work since it requires no tertiary training of any sort. After all, its just about keeping a house neat and tidy , organizing meals, tending to the kids, doing the laundry and making sure everything is where it should be - clothes clean, pressed and neatly packed away into clean and fresh smelling wardrobes; floors are swept,scrubbed ,mopped and polished to a shine; carpets are shampooed every so often but cleaned (using a hand brush in most cases) daily. Windows are cleaned periodically and if meal planning and cooking are part of the package then she has to also do this.
'Wow!',you gasp, 'they must be raking in the money!'. Well, not really. You see, its worthwhile noting that both of the jobs under discussion here are by no means esteemed - far from it! These jobs are considered menial, for the uneducated and those with few other options such as the 'poor' who are the uncontested "majority shareholders" of the lowest economic stratum of society.
For those employers' of house girls and garden boys as well as the casual observers who at some point venture outside of Africa they do receive an 'awakening' of sorts as they find out that the services rendered to them by their former employees do not come cheap. There are no house girls and no garden boys in the western world. Instead there are 'Landscape Artists', 'housekeepers' and 'butlers' who are very adequately remunerated for the hours that they put in.
Oprah would call it a kind of 'Aha' moment. Only then do people realise that it certainly does take skill, organisational management and dedication to run a home smoothly. It takes patience and dedication to keep the house in a somewhat 'okay' condition and still have time for personal grooming and just plain heartfelt laughter.
Juggling work, school, chores, family and a healthy social life without an extra pair of hands takes more than just dedication and self discipline. Trying to juggle too many balls without the skill will only result in some of them falling. It's only through God's grace, grace and more grace that one can get the strength and ability to juggle all these responsibilities.
So, if you do have wonderful helping hands around your home, do take time to thank them ,to thank God and if you are able, do surprise them with an unexpected bonus. Here's to the men and women who lend their hands and time to making the lives of thousands of people comfortable even if it is for very little financial reward and little or next-to-no self development in some cases. It takes heart, skill and love to do what they do.
Till next time...
Sunday 12 June 2011
Why Play? part 2
Over the years, as a mother and nurturer, I have noticed that one of the greatest benefits of letting children be children, is that it awakens the creativity that lies within them.
By definition, creativity is ‘the ability to transcend traditional ideas, and to create meaningful new ones, using new methods and interpretations’. In short it is originality.
But this got me wondering - "Does creativity need nurturing or is it best left to its own devices?, Is it not just natural and should therefore be left to emerge of its own accord?" The trouble is that as is common knowledge and a well known fact - anything left to itself can and will eventually decay. It’s a natural law and creativity is no exception to this law. Creativity whether in adults of children needs to be fed and cared if is to thrive rather than survive and eventually decay for want of "growth fodder" and nurturing.
So while childrens' creative abilities may vary, each child still needs a secure and conducive environment that will allow them to flourish, grow and shine. This can be achieved by free, quiet, and unhurried time, all children need to know that they are valued and accepted just as they are, at every age and every stage of their lives. This confidence and security will set the stage for their personal growth - but this does not mean that they have to be perfect. Children don’t have to be ‘perfect’ to be acceptable. After all even we as adults are not perfect, and being just as human as our children are - why should we expect them to be? The expectations of perfection are a great source of stress for children, inhibit creativity and are akin to pouring water over a wood fire. In my experience both in growing up and raising my own kids, taking away the pressure and stress that comes from being too pushy from children’s lives helps to facilitate growth and creativity.
In my previous post I explored how play is essential and necessary for any and every child's creativity. Have you ever given a very young child a boxed toy and after taking it out of the box, they put the toy aside and play with the box?! When my eldest son was a little younger he could create toys from the strangest of objects: from amusing himself by finding a dozen uses for wooden spoons, a bucket of pegs, and a whole lot of other ‘non play items’. The wooden spoon could move from being a puppet to being a microphone, then a drumstick before being turned into a guitar. Creativity relies more on the imagination of the person rather than what is in their hands. Therefore, there really is no need to break the bank when it comes to getting toys for kids. Kids toys should be used only as aids to enhance play not to substitute originality and imagination that is allowed to flow freely.
Nowadays, there is such a wide range of toys to choose from and so many of them claim to have educational benefits for the child. I personally have found the more traditional, mechanical toys to be very good for creative play on many different levels. To start with, they do not have pre-programmed responses which tend to undermine a child’s own imagination. They encourage children to come up with their own characters and give them their own voice and personality.This means that the child becomes the creator or director of the play at hand. Real creativity does not need fancy technology or expensive gadgets. Needless to say most of the ‘character’ type toys and different electronic gadgets are fun but there is always a new one around the corner just waiting to be unleashed and of course the biggest profits are raked in, not through the educational benefit by the children but by the corporate world. A lot of brands are named after geniuses such as Mozart and Einstein who ironically never had all these gadgets available to them. What they used and developed was that ‘creativity’ that cannot be bought and does not come in a box. They got the chance to come up with their own characters, think up their own games, learn using the world around them and get to wonder about things. Age appropriate puzzles are another of my favorites and definitely good for problem solving as well as improving attention span. I have noticed that construction kits stir up the imagination and leave them with endless possibilities of original creations outside of the design that comes on the manual.
Take your children to the parks if you do not have a garden to let them play freely in a safe environment and let them explore and enjoy the outdoors which helps to awaken wonderment of the beauty around them.
As I conclude, I cannot help but reflect on the fact that once upon a time play was the ‘default leisure setting’ for children. Let us do our best to preserve it for our children and generations to come. How have you helped to preserve this childhood treasure of learning through play in your own home or for the kids in your world? Here’s to all you wonderful parents, uncles, aunties, grandmas and grandpas for giving the children in your world time and room to grow - and above all ... to be as creative as they can be . Till the next time... thanks for reading.
Wednesday 8 June 2011
Why play?
‘Mum we’re bored’, does not send me into panic mode, make me wreck my head and look through the budget for ‘boredom curing’ activities for my children. They are kids and kids should be allowed to become ‘bored’. Its part and parcel of being a child and it’s not entirely a bad thing. It fuels their creativity. Nowadays the culture is such that as parents we are often pressured (consciously or sub consciously) into keeping our kids entertained and occupied. Most kids already have schedules that are filled with organised and paid for activities that they are hardly left with any energy or desire for creative free play. Yes, it is not uncommon these days for young children to be as stressed out as adults. Now I’m not against children being engaged in organised sport and extra curricula activities as these structured activities are very beneficial to their overall development and growth. However, as parents we do need to know where to draw the line and give our kids space and time to ‘just be’. Kids need to be kids, to be allowed to be the young, immature, curious and creative little beings that they are. They need to play. It keeps them happy, healthy and definitely reduces stress. After all, childhood should be stress free!
When I was a child I remember that often we would be told to ‘Go and play outside’. Usually we would go outside with no fancy battery operated toys or instructions on what games we were supposed to play and how to play them. We were just told to ‘play’ and so that’s what we did. We played. Mum and dad didn’t have to organise our every activity. In fact, ironically, boredom was actually good ‘creativity fuel’. We played with friends, played with sticks, leaves, clay, we played with one or two dolls, and we conjured up games of all sorts. One ball was enough to keep us entertained and occupied for hours. To be honest, our entertainment comprised mostly of non bought or paid for activities. Sometimes we would get bruises and cry but they always healed and that didn’t stop us from venturing out to play again. I remember spending hours with friends building ‘fairy houses’ in the garden out of flowers, pebbles, leaves and twigs, I remember the sweet mango infused smell of the air around the time when mangoes ripened, I remember sometimes just sitting outside with a good book and getting lost in the story while hearing the background noises of friends and other kids playing, laughing, crying and sometimes even fighting. The playground was a good place of exploration, experimentation, learning and lots of fun. Play is fun. It is what children do and it’s how they learn best. While we may not have the freedom that was enjoyed by most parents years ago of letting children just play in the street with all the other neighbours’ kids, we still need to let our children enjoy this fundamentally important world of play. In a child’s world play is very ‘intellectual’. Through it, they learn social skills, problem solving, how to be attentive, respect for others and a whole lot more. Children take in more when we create an environment that encourages them to desire, love and be enthusiastic about certain things rather than when they are forced to ‘learn’ in pressured environments. Incorporating learning into play in subtle ways that kindle the hunger to learn more will go a long way as they will learn without even knowing that they are learning.
In my next post I will share some of what I’ve learnt in my journey so far as a parent, aunt and sister with regards to the many ways in which we can nurture the creativity that our kids carry and help to create happy childhood memories so that when the stressful bill paying, responsibility laden years kick in, hopefully those memories will put a smile on their faces as they ‘happily’ sign the check for the electricity bill.
I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. What memories of ‘play’ from your childhood do you hold dear and treasure to this day and what simple games would you want to pass on to your children and maybe also ‘relive’ those playground memories as you join in with your kids to explore the wonderful world of play?
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