One definition of divorce:separation and disunion of things closely united or the dissolution of marriage
For some people, divorce is absolutely necessary and maybe inevitable. It normally takes marriage to come to this realisation. Now, before you get into panic mode about the 'D' word, please hear me out.
Once upon a time for some men and women , they had dreams of one day finding the right (and might I add 'perfect') partner and being married happily ever after. They envisioned blissful evenings of romance perfectly cut out from heaven. Prince Charming would no doubt be the perfect gentleman who looked as though he had stepped right out of a storybook. Lady Dazzling would also be the ever picture perfect bride ,cooking in sky high stilettos everyday and looking just as beautiful in the morning as if she had just had a makeover for a photo shoot and her hair as if she had just been to the salon (which means she definitely wouldnt have natural afro hair!)
You see, when Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball, she's all dolled up and he falls in love with her. He decides to marry her and I've always wondered why he didnt gasp when he eventually found her , dressed in her raggedy looking clothes (well maybe he did) but still chose to marry her as she was. At midnight, Cinderella's ballgown and glamour disappear. She does not go to bed with her glass slippers or her crown from the ball. For some married and single people too, there is a need to divorce the 'pre midnight' spouses they have closely united themselves to so they can actually be married to the real person they said or will say 'I do' to. When you said "I do", was it to the flawless fairytale Prince Charming on a horse or to the not so perfect but real and loving person standing before you? If it was to the fairytale spouse and you are still married to them then you'll probably see your husband or wife as the 'frog' in your tale. Well, I've got some bad news and good news...your spouse is not the 'frog' and neither are you the 'frog' in their story....he or she is the real deal and so are you! (How you take that news will determine which bit is the good and which bit is the bad).
I know I love getting dolled up now and again but to be honest, the idea of cooking in stilettos makes me cringe. When I'm at home I do not like looking like Im dressed for a ball, for church or as if I've just come from an office job interview. I love comfortable and relaxed attire . Men, your Cinderella is still the same person even in her track pants ,comfy sweater and ponytail. Ladies, if he 'forgets' to open the door for you, needs to be 'reminded' to take out the trash everytime and looks nothing like Denzel in the mornings...he is still your groom, waiting to be loved and to shower you with love.
Divorce the fantasy people who never burp at all, hair never unruffled and always perfectly perfect all round. They get in the way of the real bride or groom you've been blessed with. Even when the clock strikes midnight...the loving should continue.
As you divorce these fantasy people, realise that the person you are with is not a misfit spoiling your fairytale marriage but is the real deal. May your marriages flourish and prosper. For those still looking to get married, may you find true love and say 'I do' to the real deal.
Love and blessings
